We were just driving around yesterday in LA on another Santa Ana day. I don’t know about you all, but there is just something I hate about feeling 80-degree hot winds in the middle of November! I’m more into the 60-degree winds.

But this blog is not about the weather. Though I have to say that when I was a kid I really did want to grow up to be the weatherman. I thought it would be awesome to just stand there, have a cute little woman take the sun cutout and turn it in circles for me. I’d have my own Vanna White of the weather world! But that’s just a fantasy of mine, and it’s none of your business…

So let’s keep going. There is something that Howard Stern once said that I think you all need to listen to and deeply consider. Howard Stern was being interviewed somewhere, and the interviewer asked him, “Howard, how do you feel about all of these people hating you?”

Here is what Howard Stern basically said: “you know what? I don’t care if people hate me. I don’t really care if people love me. I just want to be able to create an emotion in them.”

Think about that quote for a second.

If every single person in your life describes you as being “such a nice guy,” here is what they are really saying: you are boring! You just fit in. You don’t stand out, and you certainly don’t create an emotion in them.

You want people to either love you or hate you.

Hate might seem like a very strong word; let’s go deeper into it. It is better to have someone disagree with you, and for you to create an emotion in him or her, than for you to just go through life as the invisible man.

Many people go through life as either the invisible man or invisible woman. Being invisible means that people just don’t really remember you all that much. Some of you dress very conservatively, and some of you dress so that you won’t stand out. It’s no wonder that nobody really remembers you!

When you walk in somewhere, you talk to people in a mellow voice, and you’re so afraid to challenge anyone that no one remembers you as soon as you walk out the door.

How many times have you walked into the same clothing store or bagel place and the guy behind the counter acts like he’s never seen you before? Like this is the very first time you’ve ever ordered coffee from him?

Why is this? Because you haven’t created an emotion in him. If you don’t create an emotion for someone – whether it is positive or negative – no one will ever remember you, and they certainly won’t want to date you. You will continue to go through life as the invisible man. Is that what you want?

Instead of monitoring your thoughts and getting caught inside your head all of the time, start challenging people! Stop playing it so safe. Playing it safe will never get you what you want.

The problem with playing it safe is that you will always have people look at you and say, “wow, he’s really nice, but I don’t know anything about him!”

Client: How do you start challenging people? What can you do to challenge people?

David: There are a few different things you can do to start challenging people and creating that emotion.

Let’s say that you’re in Starbucks, and there is a woman standing next to you in line. You take the time to mellow out and calm yourself, and then when you look at her, you notice that she has an indecisive look on her face. Remember, we can all read emotions; we just may not give ourselves permission to do so.

So you can look at her and say, “you look like you’re indecisive. You don’t know what you want to order?” She’ll respond, “god, I have no idea.”

What most guys will do at this point is just back down. They might say something stupid like, “oh, you should get a latte,” and offer suggestions, but they don’t take it further.

What you can do is say to her, “alright, tell me. What do you like, and what don’t you like, Ms. Indecisive?”

Challenge her. Have fun with it. That is what you really want to say to her, because you’re curious about her. You want to know why she’s indecisive right now, and you want to know what she’s all about.

By doing this, you’ll be able to challenge her in a different way. You will be able to take the conversation from small talk to real talk much easier.

A lot of guys will get freaked out and go back to that initial moment, asking her again, “well what kind of coffee do you like?” They have opened her successfully, but then they don’t know how to take the conversation further.

By challenging her, you’re going to take the conversation further as you take her away from the original topic. It won’t just be small, boring talk.

Start creating emotions in people and you will start being memorable!