Here’s something that I call the rule of life: every single decision you make is your own.

Let’s say it again, for all of you that need to hear this one more time: every decision you make is your own. Every one of them.  Every single one of them.

The people you date, the job that you have, the life that you live.  Every single decision you make is your own.  You can’t blame anybody else for it.  You can’t play victim because you made those decisions.
It’s amazing how many people want to play victim.  I spoke to somebody recently and their life, as they put it, was a mess.  I asked them what they really wanted to do and they said they really wanted to get a job, or have a better job.  Oh, well, that’s what you need to concentrate on right now.

You see, your social life, you really can’t concentrate on it when you’re not really enjoying your business life.  Your business life isn’t going to miraculously change or get better if you do nothing for it.  That’s the old push it out to the future syndrome that never ever seems to work for anybody.  And you’re not your most attractive when you’re not feeling great about yourself, because the thing about life is the more you love yourself, the greater chance that somebody will come and actually love all of you.

When you don’t love all yourself, the other person can’t really love all of you.  They can just love all that you show them.  So if you don’t like yourself, you’ll meet somebody else who doesn’t like themselves, and the two of you will have an extremely uninspiring relationship.

You’ll have a relationship that won’t be happy.  It will be unfulfilling.  The two of you will just continue to not really grow together.

A lot of people don’t understand that principle.  They just desire a relationship, so they’d like to go find somebody even though they’re not working on themselves, not working on the things that really bother themselves about themselves. So the thing is you come into a relationship, do you think you’re really going to meet somebody who’s fucking spectacular?  Do you think a spectacular person who’s done the work on themselves is going to put up with your shit?

Absolutely not.  No one’s going to put up with your shit.  No one should be expected to put up with your shit.  No one should be expected to deal with your shit because you haven’t dealt with it yourself.

But yet I have people that call me all the time and they want me to help them find a relationship, yet they haven’t found themselves and they haven’t found their happiness, so my standard answer to people now is I’m not working with you until you realize, okay, that you need to work on yourself first.  Doesn’t matter what tip or technique or whatever I give you to go connect with people of the opposite sex, you’re just going to get a mirror reflection and you’re going to get somebody that’s equally in the poor me, I hate my life syndrome.  That’s not going to get you to grow, because you get two people together that are on a downward spiral, and, well, what happens next is that downward spiral just continues.

That’s what happens.  It’s all about loving yourself.  You’ve got to love yourself on every single level, and the levels that you don’t love yourself, you’d better do work.

There’s no miracle drug you can take: anti-depressant, marijuana, alcohol, cocaine, meth.

Whatever drugs, herbs, there’s nothing you can take that’s going to miraculously change.  Drugs just suppress and mask.  You’ve got to do the hard work, so you need to look in the mirror today and say, mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the greatest one of them all?

If the answer is not you, then you need to figure out how you can get to become the most incredible, amazing version of yourself.  Otherwise, you’re just going to attract people who suck, because the fact is you suck at life right now.  But the beauty of life is that you can change that whenever you make that decision, you change that.  Because life is a gift for anybody who wants to unwrap it.

If you choose to unwrap the gift, the gift will keep giving and giving and giving every single day.  Chew on this, think about this, let this resonate and let’s see how I can support you on this journey.