Is It Possible To Date Two People At Once?
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I get this question from from readers all the time. “David, Help! I’m dating two people, and I can’t keep my stories straight. I don’t remember what I said to one person, and now they’re starting to blend. How do I keep these two people separate?”
My answer to this question is: Concentrate a little more, and remember what is distinctly different between the two of them.
A lot of people will date more than one person at a time while they’re trying to figure out which one of the people they’re dating will will win the lottery. Yes, the person who is lucky enough to hang out with you has won the lottery! If you don’t feel like you’re a gift to the people you’re dating, then it doesn’t matter whether you’re dating two people or ten people . . . because you’ll be dating the wrong people.
The first person you need to date is yourself. Knowing who you are and what you’re all about is far more important than your ego dating two or more people at a time. I speak extensively about this in my Men’s Audio Mastery Series program.
So now, after you’ve done the the work on yourself and you know who you are, then what do you do when you’ve met two fantastic women that you want to know (or two fantastic men that you want to know)?
Dating is about being patient. In order to get to know somebody, you need to be patient. You don’t want to make a quick decision and jump into a relationship based on not enough information. Every day that you speak with someone you’re dating is another day to get to know them on a more intimate level.
If you’re dating two people and you’re liking both of them, there’s nothing wrong with that. Take your time! Date both of them, and then you’re not creating your own version of ABC’s “The Bachelor,” where you’re trying to date 25 women in an overpriced Malibu mansion. What you’re trying to do is figure out with which one of the two you want to hang out.
The key thing here is to take notes. Now I’m not saying that when you’re out on a date with girl or guy #1, that you need to bring your little notepad with you and write down all the things that they say. What I’m suggesting is you need to journal entry when you get home.
Keep a dating journal and write down what you like about the person. Write down what they’re all about. After each phone conversation do the same thing. Write down and keep a journal about who they are, what some of their interests are, and about some of the things you’d like to do with them.
We’re human . . . it’s hard to remember everything that somebody says. It’s hard enough to remember what you say. So it’s perfectly okay to keep a journal and read it over before you see someone to remind yourself of all the things you’ve talked about with them previously. This will help you to not repeat the story of your cousin Larry getting drunk at the family picnic. If you have an intense emotional connection with them, this will also help you not repeat the same things so they won’t look at you like you’ve got the memory of a 93 year-old with Alzheimer’s.
A dating journal is a good idea. It will also prevent you from getting involved in an unhealthy relationship. Being able to share your feelings with yourself on a daily basis is an extremely healthy proposition.
So the next time you’re dating two people, start journaling! Or, if you’re dating three or four people, start journaling as well. It doesn’t matter . . . it’s just a number.
The one thing you do not want to do though is leave your journal on your coffee table when one of the people you’re dating comes over for dinner. Not only is that embarrassing, but you will have a lot to explain about who Amy is . . .
Nervous around beautiful women? Download my 10 best “no-fail” openers that WILL have her handing you her phone number tonight.
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Kyle
Monday, April 4th, 2011
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2011