Are you a “broken moment” kind of person? What I mean by that is that you’re out there,  you’re talking to people, you’re having a good time. You could be a man flirting with women, they are responding to you in every way, shape, and form. Women are batting their eyes, smiling at you, just enjoying being around you.

Then all of a sudden, you get in your head. You think to yourself, This is too easy. This can’t be that easy. This woman can’t be attracted to me. If you’re a woman, you think, This guy can’t be THAT into me, the way he’s looking at me. This is way too easy.

Then you start going deeper into your head, circling through all the bad neighborhoods up there. You basically start talking yourself out of the great things that are happening right now. All of a sudden, the conversation changes, the energy changes in the conversation. The attitudes of the people around you change, the way they respond to you changes. And then, it’s over.

They look at you. You look at them. You say, “Hey, it was nice talking to you.” They say, “Yeah, it was.” And then—because you broke the moment—they leave. If you’re a guy, you usually hit yourself over the head at this moment because you got into your head. You say to yourself, I can’t believe I didn’t get her phone number! We were having such a great conversation until I jumped into my head and broke the moment. If you’re a woman, you think to yourself, I can’t believe it! Why didn’t I tell the guy I had a good time talking to him? Why didn’t I just give him my phone number?

Can You Kill The Moment?

When you break a moment because the interaction is going too smoothly, you’ve got what I call “broken moment” mentality. You just can’t believe it could be going down this easily. You can’t believe it’s not as hard as you always thought it was.

So the next time, if you’re a man who breaks moment, look at the woman you’re talking to, look at her during those awkward 30 seconds before you leave, and say, “I’ve got to confess something. I just broke the moment.” She’ll look at you and say, “What?” “I just broke the moment. I was having such a good time and all of a sudden I realized, ‘Man, I’d love to get together with you!’ And I got inside my head for a second, and I basically stopped the train of conversation we were having.” Then you smile. She’ll appreciate your honesty. She’ll appreciate that you’re being real.

If you’re a woman, say the same thing. Say, “This is the moment that I always hate. Is he going to ask me out or is he not asking me out–because I’d love to get together with you. Here, take down my number.”

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Try to be vulnerable when the moment is broken, because most people are so afraid of being real, most people think that the slick, great, Hollywood-movie version of themselves is the version they need to be at all times. But in reality, it’s not.

In reality, all you want to be is real.