Are you dating – or even married to – a micro manager?

Somebody who wants to micromanage every move you make.

I’ve been there. I’ve dated a micromanager.

You can’t leave the house without them giving you instructions for the day.

It’s almost like they don’t realize you’ve made it this far alive… like, you think to yourself, “I haven’t killed myself or the children yet so I think I can do a fine job without your micromanagement.”

But the micro manager can’t help it. They will use excuses like…

“I’m just being a good boyfriend.”

“I’m just being a good girlfriend.”

“I’m a mother, so it’s the way that I speak when I’m concerned about my child.”

“I’m a father, and it’s the way that I speak.”

They are the absolute worst people to be with for my personality.

But, maybe you enjoy it.

And that’s where all this perspective comes in.

Maybe you enjoy being micromanaged. Maybe you enjoy being bossed around.

Maybe you enjoy that and need that in your life. Maybe you like somebody constantly checking in and making sure your underwear is clean.

Making sure that you ate.

Making sure that you’ve fed the kids properly.

Making sure that you packed the kids’ bag properly for the beach.

Making sure that the child has sunscreen on.

Oh, yeah, micro managers can’t help it.

They need to be in control all the time. They’re really control freaks.

They usually are people who never got any therapy at all. They don’t believe in therapy. If they actually got therapy, they’d actually realize that their whole life is based on an obsession with control.

They need to have that complete control because if they don’t have that complete control over their lives, then they feel lost and confused.

It gives them a sense of security and safety. They don’t want to be exposed for who they truly are and they can’t look in the mirror.

And see that they really are a confused person and the only way that they can make their life happy is if they control literally every aspect of it.

A wonderful person in my life told me, a micromanager tends to have no faith at all. No faith in God, no faith in spirituality, no faith in anything but their own control over things.

They need to control everything.

Everything. They’re usually the type of parents that can never be away from their kids.  They usually can’t go away on a weekend.

I’ve seen micromanaged moms and dads. They’re the ones who can’t be away from their children at all, because once they’re away from their children, they have nobody to control. Their own life is not satisfying enough to control. They have co-dependency issues with their children and husbands and wives and all their family members.

They’re constantly worried about their kid, constantly texting the other person, the ex-husband, or the husband.

They have no sense of self at all.

Their children are pawns in the control game that micromanagers need to have.

Many micro managers have a narcissistic personalities, where they need to make life all about them, their children, their relationships. Every relationship is all about them, and how you can serve them.

Or how the kids are actually serving them.

It’s pretty amazing to watch.

Having sex with a micro manager is a nightmare, too.

Everything’s got to be done their way. They can’t relax. I remember I was with a micromanager one time.

Getting her to come was impossible. That was never an issue for me at all, getting a woman to orgasm.

But the micromanager? Oh my God, I would bring out my A game. I would bring out the secret tongue movements (I’ll tell you about that in another blog). I’d bring out the finger and the tongue and all the heavy artillery.

And there would be so many nights that I would never be able to get them to orgasm at all.

Because the micro manager is in their head 24/7.

They’re not in their heart at all. Micro managing is a heady trait. They may even accuse you of being in your head when in reality, you’re actually in your heart.

Because if you don’t like being micromanaged, you’re actually living day to day doing things that normal people do, making the mistakes that normal people make.

A micromanager doesn’t make mistakes at all.  Everything is calculated, thought out. They’ll research articles on the Internet on how to be a great parent, how to be a great person. And they’ll institute it like a robot.

Like I said, you might enjoy it. And you might need it. Your personality might be a personality that actually needs to be micromanaged.  Me, I can’t fucking stand it at all. It drives me nuts.

So go on with the micromanager if that’s what you want. But me? I like the relationship that’s open, connecting, where we both listen to one another. Kind of the relationship I’m having right now.