A lot of you are looking for commitment from a man. You are looking for Mr. Commitment.

Well, Steph sent me an e-mail that describes a situation that is way beyond what I call a commitment. It is extreme to say the least. The whole episode is a giant red flag and a great lesson for women looking for Mr. Commitment.

Steph not only met Mr. Commitment…

She met Mr. Co-dependent.

She met Mr. I-Want-It-Now-And-I’m-Unrealistic.

And what I told her to do—well, you’ll have to read my answer below to find out.

This is the e-mail she sent me.

Hello David,

What do you do if a man wants to commit after two weeks of dating?

He spent two weeks finding out everything he could about me, my money, time, credit score, how secure I am, etc. Then he asked me to move in.  

He said he isn’t going to do a long-distance relationship, one hour and 15-minute distance, for longer than four months.  

Then, I mentioned the fact that we have kids and we need to take them into consideration.  

I suggested to put a little bit of time under our belts, especially since he wasn’t comfortable using pet names yet.  

A few weeks went by and he distanced himself, eventually breaking up with me saying he doesn’t think he is ready to date. 

Now he’s dating again after a few weeks.  

He isn’t affectionate. He isn’t needy. And he’s very smart. What happened?  

Thank you, 

S.

David says:

Dear S.,

Well, you’ve met ‘an accelerator’ – and kind of a crazy one.

If you read my blog you’ve heard me talk about accelerator’s before. They usually come on super- strong, talk about love and a future together WAY too soon… but they trigger something inside us.

They trigger our ‘true love’ button. That little switch we all have that makes us think we have fallen in love instantly.

But Steph, this accelerator has real issues. Some gigantic red flags.

He says he’s not needy… are you kidding me?

This man is so needy it’s ridiculous. Who sets up a relationship after two weeks? Who asks somebody to move in after just two weeks when you have children to take into consideration?

This man not only is needy, he’s a control freak.

Credit score? How secure you are? What is he trying to do, figure out how much money you’re going to bring to the table, so he can take it? Checking out your credit score, so he’ll be able to lease a brand new car?

This man’s a nut!

You say he’s not affectionate. Why would you want to be with him? How does he show you love and make you feel loved?

You’re lucky this happened, Steph. I can only imagine what your relationship would be like with him.

If you told me this without mentioning all the details, if you just said, I met a guy and after two weeks of dating he wants me to move in with him, I would have literally told you to put your running shoes on. commitment

I would have sent you a link to Nike dot com.

I would have found you the hottest pair of orange Denver Bronco running shoes and I would have literally made you run for the hills.

That’s right, run for the hills. Run as far away from this guy as you possibly can. This guy is insane.

Put a little time under your belt? That’s a great idea!

He says he’s not comfortable with pet names yet?

Everything about this guy scares me. Everything about this guy is saying that he’s just looking for something, some instant relationship.

He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in you, like he’s falling in love with you.

He doesn’t want to work on a real relationship, doesn’t want to get to know anyone at all. For some reason he thinks that by sprinkling some magic syrup he’s going to get what he wants.

You dodged a bullet Steph. Next time you meet a man, please take it slow.

The only man you should consider allowing into your life, your home, your world, is the one makes you feel loved and adored every single day. That doesn’t mean he’s going to be perfect and you two will never have issues to work through.

But you should feel loved, first and foremost.