I had an interesting conversation the other day with a friend of mine, Max, who is also one of my coaches. He and I got into a really interesting discussion about relationships and about love. That conversation got me thinking, and I have a few questions for all of you:

What do you feel about love?
How many times have you been in love?
Have you ever really succumbed to someone else?
Have you ever really had an unconditional love?

One of my biggest jokes was always that the only unconditional love I ever had was with two women: one named Daphne (who is my six and a half year old black English Labrador), and one named Jessie (a Golden Retriever who passed away seven or eight years ago). I realize now that while this was a joke, it also used to be my belief.

I really do believe that love is magic. I believe love is a gift. I’ve written in the past about celebrating your love and embracing your love, but unconditional love is something I believe is really rare. Unconditional love is finding someone who is willing to strip down their walls and who is willing to challenge you. I don’t think a lot of people get challenged.

So here’s what I want to know. A lot of people who read this blog are in relationships. I get a lot of emails from women who are in relationships who want to further that relationship along. Right now, I am challenging all of you who are in relationships to talk about your relationship. Tell me the answer to all of these questions:

How do you challenge each other to be the best person that you can be? 
How do you challenge each other to really grow more?
How do you challenge each other to break down all the walls and the barriers you may have so your love can grow? 

Something I tell my girlfriend every single day, and something that I really truly believe, is that I honor her.  I honor her every single day.  Now it’s not like I put her up on a throne, make her the queen and bow down giving thanks to her. I do honor her, though, for who she is. I do honor the gift she has given me, which is the gift of herself. You’ve got to honor people. 

As it’s approaching the end of the year and all of you are about to go through the some kind of ridiculous 5-4-3-2-1 countdown thing, there is something about which I want all of you to think. Instead of going through the traditional New Year’s resolution motions, how about taking a different approach to what you want to accomplish in 2009.

How about honoring your friends, your significant other and all the people in your life? Ask yourself whether you really do this by asking yourself how many people really and truly know you – fully exposed and with no walls.

Not only that, ask yourself who influences you in your life. Are there people telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, and how you should be? Are there people who tell you to ‘take it slow’ with a new person you meet? How many people in your life fully embrace your choices and support you in every way. 

So I challenge you to think about all of this. There is a lot in here to think about, and I’m going to leave it up to each of you to decide what you want to tell us. So let’s get into this conversation and have some fun.