I Am a Hotel Tattletale
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You know, people are idiots.
Keep reading and I’ll explain why.
So, I was in Chicago this past weekend, staying at a hotel.
And this happens every time I’m in hotels, where adults act like adolescent teenagers in a dorm for the very, very first time.
What is it about people in hotel hallways screaming like juvenile delinquents at 2:00 in the morning?
Is that how they behave at home?
Do they scream and yell in their condo complex?
What is it that turns adults into idiotic teenagers when they’re at a hotel?
It makes no sense to me. It’s not like the first time they’ve ever been in a hotel. It’s not like they’ve never been a hotel before and been woken up by other adolescent adult idiot wannabe teenagers.
Hey, look, I got no offense about being a teenager. I was once an idiotic teenager. And it’s a wonderful time in your life to be and have fun. It’s great being a teenager, screaming, yelling, having a good time. But it’s not great when a 30 year old or a 40 year old does it, screaming in the hallways of a hotel. Not only that, why do people do this in hotels, too?
They think it’s so cool. Smoke in their room. Yeah, I’m going to smoke in my room. I’m going to break all the laws of the hotel and I’m going to smoke a cigarette in the room, so people all around in the hall can smell the fucking cigarettes, all night long.
People are paying a lot of money to sleep in a hotel. Do they really need to be smelling other people’s cigarettes?
So you know what I did when I was in this hotel in Chicago called the Hotel Rafiello and idiot people smoked cigarettes in the hallway?
I became a hotel tattletale.
I called the front desk and I said, “Hey, is smoking allowed in the hotel?” The lady at the front desk said, “Absolutely not.”
“Well, maybe you should get up here to the 12th floor and basically breathe in a little bit because the whole floor stinks like cigarette smoke.”
And I wonder who it was that was smoking. Do you think it was the adolescents? Oh no, not the kids. Do you think it was the adults who were acting like a bunch of crazed adolescents? Bingo.
Oh, it’s so cool to smoke in a hotel isn’t it? It’s so cool to break all the rules. Oh my god. I’m alive.
No, you’re an idiot.
. . .
Oh that’s right, extreme honesty month is over. Jesus.
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Bob
Monday, June 4th, 2012
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