sacred-noMy greatest lesson in life has been not standing in my sacred no. If I stood in my sacred no, I’d have probably $1M more in the bank, and I’m not kidding.

It all started when I couldn’t say no to my friend Andrew 25 years ago. He needed to borrow $75,000 for a short term. 20 something years later, he still has that $75,000.

My brother asked me for money for a bar. I just did it. I don’t know why, but I did it, because I could never say no to him because my father always said no to him, so I was always like a father figure to him, or an older brother that took care of him.

My ex constantly had her hand out. I couldn’t say no to her and that’s come to bite me in the ass.

Being generous is a wonderful thing, but unfortunately people don’t appreciate it. They don’t ever do anything to really thank you or pay you back. They just kind of take. And it’s just the way things are set up.

So my biggest lesson in life is learning how to say no. Learn from my lesson because if you don’t stand in your sacred no, it’s going to cost you emotional dollars. Physical dollars. And stress.

I couldn’t care less about my friend Andrew because we’re way past that. My brother, to this day, whenever I call him or talk to him, I’m feeling that “why did I do this?” Like you kind of beat yourself up. And as for my ex… biggest mistake I ever made. Won’t get in to why, but it was a huge mistake because mutual respect was not given back. I never talk about my ex because I always want to keep her out of it so my daughter, eventually if she ever reads this blog years later, wouldn’t want to hear what her mother was really about.

Sometimes I just want to write about it. Sometimes I want to talk about it. And in life, it’s really good to be unfiltered, so stand in your sacred no. The next time someone asks you for something, money for a short term, they ask you for a favor to do, think about the quality of the character of the person you’re giving things to, especially when it comes to money.

So, if you make lots of money and you give out a couple hundred thousand dollars to people because you know you’re never going to get it back and it’s okay with you, that’s fine. But, if you give to somebody and expect it back, don’t do it. If you got a woman who’s coming on to you or a man that comes on to you or somebody that comes on to you and you’re with somebody else, stand in your sacred no and just tell them, “No. I’m very happy in my relationship right now and I am flattered by the way you feel, but I’m not going to reciprocate.”

It’s extremely important to stand in your sacred no. Don’t be afraid to stand in your sacred no at anytime. Don’t be afraid to say no to people, because when you say yes and you overextend yourself for somebody else, emotionally, monetarily, it’s going to come back and bite you in the ass because eventually you are going to get strong. And when you do get strong, you’re going to think about all the things you’ve done for the people that don’t appreciate it and have not you paid you back emotionally or monetarily. And you’re going to start to get angry, and pissed off, and annoyed.

So think about short-term and long-term. Think about what you’re doing. Stand in your sacred no, hold tight to no. The word “no” is a really, really good word for all of you to embrace and all of you to learn immediately.

Stand in your sacred no, otherwise, life is going to come and bite you in the ass, because the things that I regret the most are things that I have done and how I have helped people who didn’t appreciate it. And it’s something that plagues you, and it plagues me. And I don’t want to be plagued by it, but sometimes when I sit around and think to myself, man I’m pissed, the first thing that comes to mind is I should’ve stood in my sacred no.

The second thing that comes to mind is I got to let go of this. I got to let go of the money. I have to let go of the anger. I have to let go of everything. So the next time one of these leeches come at you, emotional leeches, money leeches, stand in the power of your sacred no.