So you’ve gone out with this woman plenty of times.

But it seems like every single time the bill comes, you both stare at each other, momentarily.

She stares at you, you stare at her.

She gives you a little smile—that, “Hey, I’m cute, pay for my meal” smile.

And you feel the pressure.

So you pay for it. You’re “the man”, of course, you “have to”. And then when you see your friends later, you bitch and complain because you’re really sick of women not paying.

So instead of complaining, try doing this the next time:

The minute the bill comes, just look at her and say, “Excuse me, I’ve got to go to the bathroom.”

Let her sit there with the bill for a little while. Let her look at the bill.

I’m sure she’ll whip out her iPhone and start texting her friends. She’s definitely going to bring the third base coach in.

“The bill is sitting here. Should I pay for it?”

Let her sit with it for a few minutes, maybe five or six. When you get back, make up a story about how there was someone in the bathroom before you, and you had to wait.

Then you just stare her down.

That’s right, you stare her down.

Most of the time, she’ll pick up the bill. But if she doesn’t, then you can do the Jerry Seinfeld thing where you flick your finger across and the bill and slide it across the table to her.

And then say. “You know what I love? I love when a woman takes me out to dinner—it makes me feel really appreciated and desired and when I feel desired watch out what happens.”

And you look at her.

You’ve basically told her, “Hey, pay for the meal.”

You’ve got to train them. You’ve got to make agreements with them. Otherwise they’re going to take the free ride on you—so you need to manup and tell them that you cant afford nor should you be expected to pay for everything.

 

“I have no problem being generous, but I love when a woman takes me out and shows me appreciation, it makes me feel really good. Thank you.”

Use the term “feel” because women always want to feel.

And before you know it, she’ll start bringing things over to your place; she’ll start offering to pick up a meal on the way over to your house; she’ll start surprising you with dinners.

Or you can say to her, “Hey, can you stop at Whole Foods on the way over and pick up some takeout?” And you get her to pay.

When she comes in, you say, “Hey, do you need money for that?”

She’ll say, “No it’s on me.”

And then you tell her, “I really love it when a woman picks up groceries—it makes me feel really good. You’re so awesome.”

That is how you manup and let her know that you are not in the financial position and are not a yes man. Plus in dating a little training never hurts from time to time.

Otherwise, you’re going to constantly, constantly pay.

And you don’t want that.