I walked into the restaurant.

It was a beautiful place.

Soft music, perfect lighting, and the food looked delicious.

I couldn’t wait to sit down with my lady.

It was then that I saw them… Sitting there with a blank…emotionless…stare in their eyes. For a while, I actually thought they were dead. It was only when I saw them reaching uncomfortably for their iPhones that I realized they were real human beings. His desperate grunt and her awkward squirming in her seat confirmed my suspicions. These were a couple on their first date, and they were quickly turning into the “dining dead.”

Go into any restaurant and you’ll see a couple just like them. You’ll see a couple, looking down at their plates, trying to make conversation but getting nowhere. It’s like watching to sick animals struggling for their last moments of life. You almost want to go and put them out their misery.

So How Do You Avoid A First Date Disaster Like This?

How do you stop your first date becoming a complete disaster?

Today I want to talk to you about first dates, and chemistry. When you first make conversation with someone, it’s relatively easy to keep things going. You make simple observations, talk about what’s going on around you, and everything runs smoothly. But once you’re sat opposite a woman at a first date, something seems to happen to men and women that changes their behavior completely. Here’s a look at some of the things going wrong, and some tips on how to avoid them….

1. You’re Trying To Impress Her – You’re dating with an outcome. You’re goal for the date is for her to like you, and possibly even kiss or sleep with you. When you date with a goal in mind, you’re putting yourself under pressure to achieve that goal. Here’s the attitude you should have on a first date… “Who gives a sh#t?!”

Forget about trying to impress her, and concentrate on being yourself and having a good time. If you concentrate on your experience of the date, you’ll relax and she’ll have a better time. Guess what happens when she has a better time on your date? She’s more attracted to you!

2. You’re Overthinking Everything – This is another mistake guys make on first dates. Men always look for signals from women. You’re sitting there trying to read and analyze every single look, hair flick, and word she says. If she looks at her phone, you instantly assume she’s texting a friend to say she doesn’t like you, so you start to freak out. If she doesn’t laugh at one of your jokes you take it as a sign she doesn’t like you, so you start to feel awkward around her.

You don’t see any signals of attraction so you assume you’re being friend zone and you start to lose interest. Stop trying to read her. Hair flicks, and iPhone flips don’t mean a thing. It’s what she says you need to pay attention to. Get out your head, stop listening to your own thoughts, listen to what SHE is saying, and you might actually be able to get into a conversation!

3. You Have No Chemistry – That’s right. Sometimes you may just have nothing in common with the girl. You can’t get on with everyone you meet, and maybe this girl looked hot, but now you’re with her you realize she’s actually boring.

Try to inspire her to talk, try to make her feel something, but if you’re not feeling each other, there’s no point in forcing it. You may as well even joke about it. Don’t sit there looking stiff like you’re trying to hold in the runs. Embrace it. Say, “You know I get the feeling you and me aren’t ever going to marry, so let’s just have a good time tonight!”

The chances are you’ll make her smile and bring her out of herself. It’s so nuts the way people get so freaked out in the company of other humans. In the video below, I talk more about the “dining dead,” and how to give women what they really want on a first date.