How do these things make you feel? How do you feel if someone cheats on you? How do you feel if someone steals your cell phone out of your car? How do you feel if someone slept with somebody else?

We’re getting to the real root of cheaters right now. You’ve been cheated on in the past.

If someone asks you what happened in your past relationship, is your answer something like this: “She was a great girl, but all of a sudden something happened and she started cheating on me. It was ridiculous. I don’t understand why she cheated on me. I did everything for her.”

Immediately, the person you’re saying this to is going to look at you and wonder what made that person cheat on you. When you’re cheated on, it means that there is something that’s not working between the two of you of which you are not aware.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never been cheated on, but I have cheated one time. I know exactly why I cheated on them. It was because the communication in our relationship was dead, over, done. I wasn’t happy anymore.

So if you tell someone on a first, second or third date that you’ve been cheated on, they’re going to really wonder about you. They are going to wonder why you didn’t realize why you were cheated on, and why you aren’t taking responsibility for your part in it.

A lot of people don’t understand that cheating is a two-way street. In order to push someone out the door to cheat, you must be pushing them one way or another.

There’s something that you’ve been doing in that situation. Maybe you were not aware of the person’s needs, wants, and desires. Maybe you wanted more out of the relationship than they did. It could be a number of different things.

So if you’ve been cheated on and someone asks you why that relationship ended, just say “It ended mutually” and leave it at that. As you get to know someone better, you can uncover the depth of your last relationships.

In the first couple of weeks, though, people are judging and looking and evaluating you. It’s not that you want to hide things, but you just want to get to know each other on a fresh face.

You don’t need to tell every negative detail of your past. You don’t need to dump everything about each other in the first few weeks. You want those first few weeks to really bond with each other, to build up the trust, so then you can talk about all that stuff later when you’re in a safe space with each other.

People are still judging in those first few weeks. So the next time someone asks you if you’ve ever been cheated on, just say “You know what? I have been, but it’s no big deal. I learned a lot from that. I really learned that my communication in that relationship wasn’t good and I take full responsibility for it.”

Take the high road in everything. Anytime you take the road of a victim, it means that you don’t know how to communicate properly with anybody else.