Dear David WygantToday’s Dear David email comes from a great guy named Todd. I gotta tell you, Todd is doing something so many men do over and over. They meet a woman, and immediately decide she’s resisting them in some way. You meet a woman, and decide there’s something you need to overcome to attract her. The reality is, she’s just not interested in you. I’m going to read you his email and explain even more.

“Dear David,

I just received a text from a girl I met online, but haven’t met in person yet. We planned to get together this week, but her text said this. “I hope you had a great weekend. I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to get together this week after all. How about I text you when the timing is better?

I want to know how to overcome her resistance. She seems like such a great match for me. Any ideas?”

David Says…

She’s not resisting you Todd. She’s just not interested in you. She met someone else over the weekend, she has other things going on, and she wants to let you down easily. She’s not resisting you, she’s not blocking you, and she’s not overthinking anything. It’s all in your brain because you have a fantasy about her in your mind. Why do you think she’s such a good match for you? Because you read her online dating profile? Her profile is just a fantasy version of who she wants to be.

You don’t know what she’s really like until you meet her in person. I don’t care how great someone’s profile sounds. It’s all a bunch of BS until you meet her. All you’re doing is creating a fantasy in your brain about what a great match she is. You don’t have a clue what kind of match she is until you sit down with her, spend time with her, and learn all about her. Only then can you say she’s a good match or not.

That even goes for first dates too. You can’t tell whether someone’s a perfect match for you after a couple of hours. It’s just a story you’re creating in your mind.

How many guys create this story in their heads?

You see a girl, you look at her and say, “God she’s perfect for me!”

Why do you think she’s perfect for you? You think she’s perfect because she’s pretty and your penis likes her. Stop creating stories and fantasies. Todd emailed me a couple of days later to suggest he sends a message saying, “Yes I had an awesome weekend. Don’t worry. But are you sure you can’t meet up? I have a great date planned.”

It’s as if he’s desperately trying to sell himself. “Please go out with me. Please go out with me. Please go out with me!”

You have a great date planned? Who cares? A great date could be sitting opposite someone in a coffee shop. If the conversation’s there, it doesn’t matter what you do. When you act this way, you look desperate. By saying, “Don’t worry, but are you sure?” You’re contradicting yourself by trying to convince them. You’re showing weakness. “Please give me a chance. Please I know we’ll be good together.”

Todd, you need to drop the ego. You’re not seeing resistance from her. She’s just not interested in you. That’s all it comes down to. You have no idea if she’s a good match for you or not, and obviously she’s not feeling it. Let it roll, and move onto the next woman you like the look of!