Dear David – How Can I Relax And Let Go?

Today’s “Dear David” looks at first glance like it’s a bit off-topic, but actually, you’ll see how it ties in to dating and relationships. It’s from a guy Jake, who simply says…

“Dear David,

I suffer from terrible approach anxiety and get really stressed when I’m trying to talk to women. One of the reasons I think I have this problem is because I’m so uptight all the time. I just can’t seem to let go and relax. I have stressful job, but it shouldn’t make me feel so stiff all the time. How can I relax, let go, and start to enjoy life and interacting with women again?”

David Says…

Well, Jake, life is about letting go. In fact, I spoken a lot about how learning to surrender in life is the quickest way to find love and to start achieving all the other goals you have. Life is all about surrendering to yourself, and life is all about new experiences that help you connect deeper with yourself. A few days ago, I finally did something I’ve always wanted to do. Are any of you old enough to remember the movie, “Altered States” with William Hurt?

It was about a mad scientist who went into a water tank and floated. While he floated, he was able to transform into different things, literally tripping. I remember seeing the movie when I was in my freshman year at college. I watched it with a friend and decided I wanted to get into an altered state. Being 18-year-old freshmen what do you think we did?

We went and bought a bag of pot, then we bought a bong, filled it with ice and smoked pot until dawn. We wanted to see if we could get as high as the character William Hurt played in the movie. My whole life I wanted to go into one of these flotation tanks, but never got around to it. Then a couple of weeks ago I ran into some people at the farmer’s market when I was with my daughter.

We got talking and it turned out he had a floatation center in Woodland Hill, called LA Float Center, with these tanks. Right away I said to him, “Are you kidding? I’ve wanted to go into one of those tanks since I was 18.” Turned out there was a Groupon special so I brought 3 hours’ worth of floating. When I try something new, I tend to do it with gusto!

So a few days ago, I had to pick up my car. It needed some warranty work but it wasn’t ready. In the end, I had to go back out to Thousand Oaks to pick up my car. Woodland Hills isn’t far from there so I made an appointment to float. I got to the float center, watched a short video, and then went into my room. When you get inside there’s a pod. It looks like a space age pod filled with about 18 inches of tons of Epsom salt. You choose your music, decide if you want strobe lights, and then get in.

I got into the water, and the first 15 minutes or so was terrifying. I get inner ear infections, and I was worrying whether the water would seep through the silicone ear buds they give you. Anyway, I got used to the experience and I stop thinking about it. While I was floating, I realized how painful my body felt. It hurt to float because I was so tense. We’re probably all really tense when you think about it. It’s an amazing feeling to float in this water. To start with your thinking about whether you’re going to sink or float. Once you start to relax into it you realize how many aches and pains you have.

Why Is It So Important To Relax?

There you are floating in zero gravity. You start to get deep into your thoughts. Your brain eventually just turns off until you can just hear the music. You fall asleep, and start dreaming about interesting things. Before you know it, your brain starts thinking again, wondering how much time you have left. Then all of a sudden a little voice comes on and says your floatation session is over. Afterwards I talked to the owner of the place and apparently, the more you do it, the more you get tuned into it. The more you’re able to meditate, the more you’re able to go deeper and let go of things.

I want to start doing this on a regular basis because I think all of us need to meditate. We all need to relax and let go of the demons inside our brain. It’s almost like the way the Buddhist monks work. They get so deep inside themselves, they go into complete mindfulness and deep peace. Any of you who meditate know what I’m talking about. To me, meditation isn’t something that’s ever been easy.

I can get there, but it takes a while to turn my brain off. I want to explore this because I want to work through some things that have been on my mind and bugging me. I want to get deeper into my consciousness and my sub-conscious mind. So I’m going to explore this. It’s an incredible way to let go of your stresses, and just to relax. Any of you in Los Angeles I strongly suggest you check out the LA Float Center in Woodland Hills. It’s worth the drive for any of you who live a bit further out too. It’s an amazing experience and worth every cent.

If you’re abroad or outside LA, find out if there’s any floatation centers near you. If you want to de-stress and get some clarity into your life, it’s well worth a try. Everyone’s experience of floating is different too. A friend of mind said he didn’t feel the pain in his body like I did. I have a blown disc in my back so I get tension that shoots up and down my spine. I’ve been working my whole life to get rid of it, and this is another part of that journey. Once again, the journey is always about letting go.

Trusting the water, and surrendering your body to it, is the perfect example of letting go. Then letting go of your thoughts, and just feeling! Once again, I suggest any of you working on themselves go try it out. You’ll enjoy it. It’s a new experience, which will help you grow, develop, and become a better YOU!