Home Bed Advantage By David Wygant

Let me ask you a question. When you have sex with someone, does there need to be home field advantage?

Can you be the away team or do you need to be the home team? Do you absolutely need to wrestle in the sheets on your own turf?

There have been times in my life when I preferred to be the visiting team, so that when it was over I could hop on the bus and leave. Nothing is worse after having sex with someone than having to spend the night with them when you don’t want to. So in those situations, being the visiting team is great!

You leave and you can go out for a drink after the game on your way home. That is one benefit of being the visiting team. Another benefit is that you can soil someone else’s sheets, so that when your maid comes she won’t have a heart attack.

There are some problems though with being the visiting team. There have been times when I have been the visiting team when the woman didn’t mind having sex with her cat on the bed. It kind of freaked me out a little bit.

There I was slowly working my way down her body . . . only to be brushed up against by a purring pussy cat. I said “Can we do something about this cat?” She said “Ignore him.” It’s hard to get excited though when puss in boots is staring directly at my groin.

Another time when I was the visiting team, the woman had one of those yippee dogs. Now, this next part I am not making up. When she started climaxing, rover started howling. I wasn’t quite sure what the connection was . . . and I didn’t really want to hang around and find out.

There are other problems with being the visiting team. They may not have anything good to eat in the fridge. They may get up at 6:00 in the morning when you are used to getting up at 9:00.

I generally prefer to be the home team. I have a dog. She doesn’t howl when someone orgasms and she does not get up on the bed for a three way unless invited. She does, however, need to be walked.

Not only that, but being the home team certainly has advantages. You can brush your teeth with your own toothbrush instead of using your finger. The musical choices will always be your own. There is something I just don’t find attractive about a woman who plays Guns ‘N Roses to get off.

Being the home team also gives you some other benefits. It’s your own bed, so you know the exact spot you can lay in to fall asleep. Also, if you can’t sleep with this stranger in your bed, there is always the Internet to cruise in the middle of the night or a good book to read. Have you ever had insomnia being the visiting team and you had to read Cosmopolitan and Glamour all night?

Another benefit about being the home team is that you can actually create the mood. If you are not into incense burning or sage leaves being waved all around the house, you can do what I do and just light some nice candles and play some music.

Being the home team gives you the advantage of creating any mood you want. Plus, all your supplies are nearby.

The only problem about being the home team is if you do not want the other person to stay after the main event, and you look like an asshole kicking them out. So, as they say in sports, you have to suck it up for the good of the team.

So what do you prefer? Do you prefer to be the home team, the visiting team, or are you like the Super Bowl and you prefer to play on neutral ground like a hotel?

Oh, and it’s different if you are in a relationship. Once you give a drawer to someone, and tell them that your field is their field and your stadium is their stadium, it’s a whole different thing.

So for the occasional fling or booty call, do you prefer to be the home team or the visiting team and why?