Dear David – I Snooped And Now He Doesn’t Want Me!

Ladies…

Snooping is not another word for intuition. Snooping is not something you do because you “have a feeling.”

Snooping on man is never justified. As a woman, you need to admit that sometimes your curiosity is often another way to describe snooping. I got a “Dear David” email the other day from a girl names Lana.

Below is her email and my reply…

Dear David,

I’m staying with my boyfriend’s right now. This morning we had a little fight about toilet paper. As silly as it sounds it ran out, and neither of us noticed it was finished. When he stormed out the room, I picked up his phone and noticed a text message. It was from a girl asking him when he was “sending those pictures he’d promised.”

Obviously, I went nuts and confronted him about it. Why is he texting other girls? He shouted at me and told him if I didn’t trust him we shouldn’t be together. I told him I was leaving, as he didn’t respect me. He said that was fine because he needed space. Now I think he probably is seeing someone else and I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him.

What can I do?”

David Says…

Besides the snooping, let’s go line-by-line what’s wrong with this.  You had a fight about toilet paper.  Who cares who finished the toilet paper?  It’s ridiculous. It’s toilet paper. You can replace it. What does it matter who used the last sheet of toilet paper?  

When I went to Costco or Wal-Mart last, there was an abundance of toilet paper.  You’d think that there was a toilet paper factory or a tree somewhere in this world that constantly supplies toilet paper everywhere. You took his phone. I don’t know why. Obviously, you felt something was wrong. But instead of communicating with him, you went snoop-icating. That’s where it all gets messy. If you feel you have problems in your relationship, you need to talk about it. Find out the truth. Don’t go snooping.

Then you say you love the guy so much and you don’t want to lose him. Let’s break down what you tell us about the guy. He shouted at you, you say he doesn’t respect you, he wants space, and he’s texting other girls photos. Lana, you need to get some self-respect. From what you say the guy sounds like an idiot. Why do you keep going in a relationship where you’re not being loved like you should be?

You deserve something better. This guy doesn’t treat you like the queen you need him to treat you like. He’s treating you like a piece of dirt. Work on yourself, and find a man that really wants to be with you.

Arguing about toilet paper is a sign the relationship is going backwards, long before you started snooping on his phone. You need to learn how to communicate better with your partner. If you feel something is wrong between you, talk about it, rather than looking for answers yourself. Snooping never turns out well, so just don’t do it!