Have You Ever Been Boobed?

I was boobed the other night. Have you ever been boobed?

You know what I’m talking about. You’re out at a bar just standing there hanging out with some friends, and the next thing you know a woman walks by and boobs you. She basically rubs her boobs against your back or your shoulder as she walks by you.

When that happens, you always turn around because you’re startled. You know what boobs feel like, and you know you have been boobed. You think to yourself, “Is she boobing me on purpose, or is it just really crowded?”

If when you turn around after she’s finished boobing you, you realize that the gap between you and other person she had to squeeze through is actually pretty big, that is when you know. You know it was an intentional boobing.

So what do you do at that moment when you realize you have been intentionally boobed? You follow up. You walk over to her and say, “Excuse me. You just boobed me. Obviously we need to talk.”

Some women actually use their boobs as flirting objects. Other women’s boobs just get in the way when they are trying to get by and the crevice between the two people is too small to get through without boobing one of them.

So the next time you’re boobed at a bar, you might want to have a look around you. Find out what kind of boobing it is.

If there is a gap as wide as the Lincoln Tunnel between you and the next closest person, then you know you were boobed on purpose and you should follow up with her. If the gap wasn’t as big as the Lincoln Tunnel, then you know it was an involuntary boobing and you don’t need to pursue it any further.

There’s a valuable boobing tip for all you guys.