Oh my god! Is it me or everywhere you look everything is now gluten-free?

Gluten is some type of wheat product.

It’s found in foods like pasta.

Breads.

Cookies and cakes.

People with a gluten intolerance can’t really digest it. It leaves them inflamed, not feeling very good.

But now, everywhere you look, the word “gluten-free” is all over the place. The other day I went to pick up some sun tan lotion.

It was gluten-free.

I’m thinking to myself, well, if I rub gluten all over me, will that cause me to have a gluten intolerance as well?

I was a little confused. My toothpaste that I picked up the other day was also gluten-free. And I’m thinking to myself, huh, I never knew gluten was needed in toothpaste.

My conditioner that I bought the other day at Whole Foods was this absolutely wonderful coconut mint smelling thing and it was also gluten-free. So I started looking around and I started thinking to myself…

Have we taken this gluten-free craze too far?

Is this marketing buzzword really needed with things like shampoo, conditioner, and toothpaste? So I took myself into a local supermarket and I noticed just about everything was gluten-free.

Shampoo was gluten-free. Underarm deodorant was gluten-free now.

I saw gluten-free floss.

Everywhere I look I saw gluten-free over everything.

I thought to myself, is it possible that we are a society that is marketing on any hot word we can in order to get somebody’s attention? It wasn’t good enough just to wear deodorant that made you stink less.

Now you gotta have deodorant that makes you gluten-less.

It’s really slightly out of gluten control.

My toothpaste, I never thought about that.

The other day I went in to test drive a car because I was bored and the Mercedes dealer proudly told me…

That all of their cars are 100% gluten-free.

It’s amazing. I’m so glad. I didn’t want my butt and my back to deal with my gluten intolerance as I sat in the seat.

I went into a denim store and looked at a pair of jeans and I asked them, is this gluten-free? He looked at me and said let me check with my manager. No kidding, true story.

I was getting gas the other day at the pump. I asked the guy who was there washing windows — it’s a gas station on Lincoln Boulevard that actually washes the windows for you — I looked at him and said listen, my car has gluten intolerance, is this gas gluten-free?

He looked at me and he smiled and he said let me check, sir, with my manager. Two people are checking with their manager to see if this is actually gluten-free. Do they not know their program or their product?

Anyway, I’m here to tell you that all my dating products are 100% gluten-free.

You will not break out in any type of rash. You will not have any gluten intolerance at all and you’ll 100% be okay after listening to them even if you have any kind of gluten allergy.

I’m also here to tell you that all my coaching is now 100% gluten-free. If we break bread during a coaching session and have a meal, I promise the meal will be 100% gluten-free. Probably. We will not be eating any starches, pasta, cookies, cakes or anything pertaining to gluten at all.

I’m waiting to find that bottle of water that has gluten-free on it.

We’re out of control, folks. What’s the new buzz word? Help me find it. Oh, wait a second, super foods. Everything is a super food and every food is probably gluten-free.

Poor gluten! I was thinking if I ever had another kid again (which I probably never will) I thought maybe I would just name it Gluten Wygant.

Then again, kids are not free. They’re some of the most expensive endeavors you’ll ever come across, so I think “free” and “child” are not exactly the perfect words to go together.

But anyway, you get the drift.