One of the greatest lessons I learned was the lesson of authenticity.

I remember when I was in my 20s living in New York City, and I was just going around trying to hook up all the time.

I remember one summer, my friends and I had a contest to see who could get the most amount of points. Points meaning you had sex with a random girl, not somebody you were dating, just somebody you basically had a one-night stand with.

I won that contest. I don’t say that because I’m proud.

I say that because I want all of you to learn a lesson in this.

You see, I used to think seduction and having sex with women was about saying whatever I needed to say in order to get what I wanted.

It seems to me, one of the biggest mistakes young men make when it comes to dating is that they’re constantly trying to get laid, so they’re saying things to a girl that they don’t necessarily believe in. You think getting laid is so important, but you have to change your mindset.

How Far Will You Go Just to Get Laid?

How many times have you told a girl you want a relationship when you don’t want a relationship, because you see her open and vulnerable, and you don’t want to miss the chance to get laid?

How many times have you asked yourself up to her apartment just so you could have sex that night, knowing you would never see her again?

I used to do all of that stuff. I thought I was so good at seduction. I was such a lady’s man. Really what I was doing was leading an inauthentic path that would come back to bite me in the ass one day.

Be Authentic and Honest

As I got older, I realized being honest and authentic is really sexy for women. There are a lot of women out there that do want to have sex; they’re looking to have sex, they’re desiring sex, and they’ll have sex, if somebody is honest.

If you tell a woman you are looking for a relationship when you are not, and then you have sex with her and you ghost her and don’t text her back, you are just being an asshole, plain and simple. You are also not living an abundant life because you are thinking there are not enough women out there that would actually want to have sex with you, so you need to manipulate and lie to the women that you are out with.

I probably would have had a lot more sex when I was younger, if I was just authentic. When you are not looking for something and you tell a woman that, when you give her the truth, you are giving her the option of whether or not she wants to act on an attraction. If she acts on the attraction, meaning she has sex with you, she is not going to feel guilty afterwards, and she is going to feel okay that she had sex with you. She is not going to complain to her friends, or call you an asshole when you vanish because you were upfront with her and it was her choice as an adult to have consensual sex with you. There are plenty of women out there that are willing to do that.

Is Getting Laid Really That Important?

When you lie to a woman and you try to manipulate the ones that don’t really want to have a one-night stand, all you’re doing is causing anxiety for the woman. Causing anxiety in her. And you’re also making her think that all men are assholes, which in turn is going to close her off.

Think about all the women you’ve met that you’ve really liked, but who were closed off to you. They probably explained that they didn’t want to get hurt again. They had been hurt by guys like you, guys that were actually using them and not being authentic and honest. So they no longer trusted men.

There are plenty of women to have sex with, plenty of women who want relationships. Just be open and honest about what you want.

When you’re open and honest, it’s amazing what happens. It also doesn’t hurt anybody’s feelings along the way. Authenticity is so sexy and so powerful. You’ll be shocked at how many women would actually say yes to you being authentic. Try it out.

And also watch today’s video because I go deeper into the mindset behind this and how you can really start to use this powerful thing called authenticity.