get over insecuritiesYou’re dating. But you’re not yet fully over the last relationship. Let’s say, for instance, you just got out of a four – or five-year relationship. The man you were with all of the sudden, out of nowhere, decided to break up with you. But, we all know nothing is out of nowhere.

Someone doesn’t just wake up one morning and decide to break up with somebody. As a matter of fact, they’ve been thinking about it for a long time. They probably have been giving you warning signs; you just didn’t want to pay attention to them.  And let me tell you something: I understand. And it’s really not your fault.

You were lulled into the relationship. You didn’t pay attention to warning signs. You didn’t want to admit the fact that the relationship wasn’t great. You were still trying to work on it.  He, on the other hand, checked out, and you didn’t recognize the warning signs.  When we check out, we stop communicating. We tend to work a little bit later. Call or text less often. Have less free nights to go out.

When you talk to us, we listen but tend to tune out. These are signs that men give you they are starting to distance themselves. Then what feels like it’s, all of a sudden, you’re alone again. You feel blindsided. The worst thing to do after something like this is to go out and start to date again. You shouldn’t date until you have your ‘amazing’ back.

You know what your amazing is…

When you’re able to look at the sky and say to yourself, “It’s another amazing, beautiful day that I can create magic.”

So, what happens if you’re out there dating… who do you think you’re going to attract without your ‘amazing?

For one thing, you’re not going to feel secure with whoever your meet. So, you’ll meet some guy. And you’ll want to grab onto anything he gives you.  You’ll tend to create drama and worse, get inside your own head. You’ll over-think things. Maybe you’ll think he’s too good for you. Maybe you’ll think you don’t deserve him. You see, when you don’t have your amazing, you’re not meeting amazing.

You’ll meet an equally flawed man. A man who probably won’t bring out the best in you. When you’re broken, you date broken. So, don’t cling on to some new guy; go back and work yourself. Take some time. Get your amazing back. It’s okay. It’s not lost time. It’s time well spent. The time you spend to get your amazing back will be some of the best time you’ll ever have,  to get to be able to process the old relationship.  You need to be over your old relationship.

You’ll get to understand what you really want, your needs, your desires, your wishes for the next relationship. You’ll spend time with friends. You’ll spend time alone. You’ll process things in a healthy way. It takes time to process any relationship. Jumping from one to the next is like taking a leaky boat and inviting more people onto it.

You need to date when your amazing is back.  That’s the only way to do it.  Take the time to reflect, feel okay and realize the universe will deliver an amazing man to you. When you’re ready again, when you’re open, and then it will truly be wonderful.