Friday Q & A: Observe A Woman And Then Say...

Shogo (Coach)

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger--I remember that!

Reply

Shogo (Coach)

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet high on pot

Reply

Shogo (Coach)

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Man who masturbate in cash register come into money

Reply

Bobby

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Ides of march.. Day Caesar was killed in 44BC. Do I get my 4 seconds of coaching now!?

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

I really need advice that's why i'm posting this in a few different places lol sorry if i upset anyone :P Hello, I was wondering if you could help me with my situation. I and learning a lot from the videos and blogs and seeing a lot of things i need to change but i haven’t found a video to fit my situation. I am not single but as of this past week i’m not really in a relationship either. My relationship is hanging on by a thread and i really don’t know how to fix it. I can see and feel her feelings for me but she lies to my face about them. She says she was more in love with me for the sense of security and comfort, and the fact that i would always be there for her and take care of her, that was the reason she loved me, and she wasn’t exactly in love with me. We’ve been going out for over a year now and i don’t want to lose her. I don’t need/want to meet or be with other women i just want this one. So how can i get her to fall in love with me again or for the first time like she never has before? I will keep reading as much information on your blogs as possible but if you could direct me to something for my situation or message me back that would help greatly. Just last week she was saying how she couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with me and shouldn’t couldn’t stop thinking about me and how much she loved me and how much i made her happy. This week she doesn’t really care to see me or talk to me. How can I restart this flame or start a flame that possibly wasn’t there (she says). Thank You Sincerely Dominic

Reply

KC

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Hey David Great video,wish I could get that whole closet thing though.I dont know if its the video or my computer but I couldnt make out the contents.I cant tell you about the jackets but I didnt think you'd ever wear that shirt your wearing.I guess you can pull that off.The glassses have to go,those don't look cool compared to the others you wear.

Reply

KC

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Dominic It sounds like your more into this girl than she is into you.She seems like shes in the relationship to say that she has someone.You seem afraid to step away from this but the mixed messages shes been sending aren't going to lead to a happy end.I dont think any of you are completely getting what you want out of the relationship.

Reply

Intern Dan

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Hey Dominic, I feel for you. You're going through a a rough time. It's not fun. You'll be able to get through this though. Let me ask you a few questions: Do you believe there are other women out there who you would be happy with? Do you believe you deserve to be with a woman who loves you passionately?

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

KC she is a girl that i don't want to let go and i don't want to walk away from, i already have let her go and she came back, she's fine with being single i just don't want to let her go "again", maybe it's blind faith but i believe there's something there still. It's like a lyrics from a song "when it's going good it's going great, i'm like superman with the wind on his back she's like Louis Lane", There is no one that has ever made me happier then she has she drives me to be the best me i could be, but there's some things i need to learn Intern Dan Yes i've thought about other woman but no one would make me as happy as she could, and has. I never thought about a ideal woman, but after her she's everything i could have wanted. Same interest same goals same passions same likes, i mean no we aren't twins or anything but 80% of are common goals and interest are the same from music, movies, games, activities. I've known her for years. Yes i believe i deserves someone who's passionate about me, i believe i'm a GREAT good. But i make a lot of "Chasing mistakes" which i have learned a lot about today. I'm the nice guy making the mistakes which will make me lose the girl. I've read the "Bad Boy" blog and i learned a lot but i need more help please I won't give up on her i just want to know how to keep her.

Reply

Kevin

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Clothes are in the closet.

Reply

Intern Dan

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Dominic, When I felt like I was losing my first love I decided I was going to fight tooth and nail to keep her because I thought I would never find anyone else like her, I loved her so much. I could feel her pulling away. The harder I tried, the further she pulled away. You know why? Because the harder I tried to keep her, the needier I became. And yes, the harder you try, the needier you become. And NOTHING drives women away faster than being needy. So how do you stop being needy? Believe in abundance. Know deep in your heart that there are many beautiful women out in the world that would make you happy. And you say you know you're great BUT... no buts. You deserve someone great, even if you make a mistake. The other thing you can do is let go of expectations. If you're equally okay with maintaining your relationship and ending it, you definitely won't be needy. You'll show yourself to be confident and confident is the most attractive thing you can be. If this relationship can be salvaged, being confident in abundance, your self worth and the future will be the only way you can do it.

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Intern Dan Thanks for you're advice I understand and agree with what you're saying. She's not my first love. I've had my heart ripped to shreds but i will say she's worth fighting for. We have broke up before I walked away and she came back. But if this is happening again I'm doing something I can do better. Yes it takes two to make a relationship work I know that. These whole thing is great but just seems like there's nothing really to help my situation we aren't completely together and we aren't broken up either we're just a title with my passion at the moment. So she's still my girl but i guess acts like i'm her ex already (In a way) Mentally I'm much stronger then she is and right now I want this to work much more then she does but I feel she only feels that way from so many mistakes that I was making "chasing, needy" ect. She has a history of going for Bad Boys, and I'm the complete opposite. I have did a lot of improving on myself and made our relationship much better but as of this past week i'm losing her and right now i felt my best move was to give her time and space. No texting, no talking, it's the hardest thing in the world for me but I keep hearing be confident don't chase don't be needy. I will do what i have to But i'm not letting her go again. She's not just another fish in the sea, or another pretty face, she's the 1967 chevy that's a classic that no one can replace and no matter what happens you won't let her go. Right now she's defensive and not very caring, we're still going out we're still on "Good" terms. If i call or text she'll answer or respond. Is No Contact my best option right now? Can I get her back?

Reply

Hey Burn

Friday, March 9th, 2012

I appreciate that you picked up quickly on the joke that I've heard my entire life. Hey!... Burn! I appreciate your response to my question, owning my words really is the key there. If I observe something, it's probably going to be something obvious, but if I say it like an idiot, that I pointed out the obvious... like an idiot. If I observe the obvious like an interesting man, then I'm pointing out the obvious like an interesting confident man. Good stuff.

Reply

Intern Dan

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Dominic, there's only one person who knows if you can win her back and that's her. And, there's more than one 1967 Chevy Classic on the road, so don't worry so much.

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Dan, Lol there's more then one on the road i wasn't expecting that response :P okay so how's my best way to win her back? If i'm going to try?

Reply

Lakegirl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Hi Dominic. I agree completely with the advice Intern Dan is sharing with you. Women will pick up on neediness from a mile away. Honestly, you're oozing with it right now. I hear how much you want to learn and grow and I really love the open attitude that you have. I think its great that you're asking for help. Awesome. I would encourage you to stretch a little bit more. Clealry you care deeply for this woman, and that's wonderful, but it does need to be mutual. I would encourage you to focus on your own life, your own interests and find things that excite you, besides her! Go out with friends, flirt with some other women, get passionate about a hobby or other activities. David always speaks about self love and how everything starts there. Take good care of yourself right now. You shouldn't have to work so hard to win this woman's affection. Be yourself, love who you are and let yourself shine. If this one really loves you, you will become irrestible to her, easily and effortlessly, just be being yourself. Women want strong, confident men who have a deep sense of who they are. Drop the neediness and fear and stop trying so hard. Stop focusing on how to win her back and focus instead on making your own life more awesome. I's all about energy! Best of luck to you!!!

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Lakegirl, Thanks for the advice I have hobbies and I love myself, i know who i am i'm confident talking to people and women, just she's the one thing that makes me nervous. So dropping the neediness and being myself is the best advice. :) okay well i'll see how that goes if anyone else has anymore advice i'd love to hear it but as for right now i'm just giving her space and i guess making my life a little more interesting again. funny how things work out. O,o i'm having to turn into a single guy again but i'm still with her? :O My biggest problem was i guess i took down my own value of my attention by giving her to much of it, and giving her what she wanted. It's hard to do otherwise. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks again Lakegirl and Dan :)

Reply

James

Friday, March 9th, 2012

First, as for the object in you closet, I'm sure it's not, but for some reason it looks to me like there's actually a couch on it's side with something strapped to it Second, I've never heard your wall phrase, but I'm going to guess that the best wall to hit is the ceiling. You either hit the wall and fall down, or hit the wall and break through it. If you break through it, what better way to go than up? And if you don't break through it, it probably hurts the least too.

Reply

Frank

Friday, March 9th, 2012

ides of march is the 15th day of March. Another great Q & A....thanks

Reply

Lakegirl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

You're welcome Dominic. You seem like a real sweetheart. It's interesting how you say "she's the one thing that makes you nervous". That's a great insight. I like to look at life by recognizing that everyone I encounter can be a teacher for me. The people that trigger me the most, for better or worse, are often the greatest of all of the teachers. It sounds to me like you have a great opportunity for growth here. I've been in similar places in my own life, and not all of the people ended up staying in my life, but they, none the less, brought amazing lessons into my life. I've been grateful for all that they taught me about myself. I once had to let go of a relationship with a man I was madly in love with, and in the end it didn't work out, but to this day, the lessons I learned through that period of time changed my life forever, for the better. I truly wish you all the best!

Reply

Lakegirl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Hey David! My guess on your closet items: A NY Giants Jersey and a Yankee T-shirt. Your two new favorite teams right?

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Lakegirl Thanks again. You say you find it interesting but it's true, I teach Break Dancing have been doing it for 18 years now, do flips, play piano, solve a Rubik's cube 3x3 and 4x4, Teach Martial Arts, compete in Dance, talk philosophy, but with all that I can walk up to anyone and talk to them about anything. She's the one thing that makes me nervous. I know my neediness is oozing out because she's the one thing I don't have a plan for something, because just being around her is great, thinking about her makes me happy and the feelings are mutual well there were until last week. O,o which is the confusing part but now i'm needy and have to stop :D I've been told I care to much, but i've realized through everything that i've learned I don't give her everything she wants make my time valuable, include her in my life (don't make her my life), be confident, and take charge once in while. :P Sincerely Dominic

Reply

Lakegirl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

You sound like a really interesting man with a very rich life! Cool! Intern Dan said it well: "Believe in abundance. Know deep in your heart that there are many beautiful women out in the world that would make you happy" An abundance mindset is what its all about!It sounds like you're figuring it out! One more quick thought: If you find yourself worrying or obsessing about her, consciously turn your attention to another subject, even if you have to do that over and over. Do it until you're in a better mindset, feeling peaceful and good about yourself, and thinking about something else. I've found that helpful in my own life.

Reply

Dominic

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Okay so if i don't worry about her and obsess over her that's basically my only way of getting her back if i do get or back or keep her on top of everything i've already said :P

Reply

sandy h

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Here is one and u will find it on the women's as well... okay here it goes…the other day my daughter and i were at the bank in ashland city and i was handing her over the deposit and she said mom look in the bank there is this guy that is about ur age and i did and i said wow what a haus…well also i said i would not mind riding his saddle…hey baby come over right here and i will set u up…then i said he would have forget the guys i ever thought about…he he now i have a question what would u do if u heard a woman talk this way around you? would you one take her up on it? or two think she is just one crazy broad seeking sex?

Reply

John

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Abundance mentality is great for marketing. Is there an abundance of women? ,, yep. Is there an abundance of single women? ,,, sure. Is there an abundance of good, single, women, over age 25, who are available, and looking, and worth really getting to know,, appear available, open to being approached, who would also be interested in me? ,,, no. Very, very, scarce.

Reply

Intern Dan

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Sandy, if a woman said that to me I'd probably think she was fun and looking for a fun time. John, you're absolutely right. The Abundance mentality is good for marketing, women and really everything in life. You should try it sometime. I think you'd actually enjoy it and how it changes your outlook on life :)

Reply

Lakegirl

Friday, March 9th, 2012

I was born with a deformity to my hand. I was teased about it alot as a kid and had a lot to overcome as I grew up. I found out, through many trials and tribulations, to love and accept myself for who I am. I learned that I'm more than just my body, and began to see my worth and value over time. When I was a young girl,I felt very self conscious and scared a lot the time. I would hide who I was from the world. I made a conscious decision to challenge my fears and beliefs and to open myself to new ways of thinking. I transformed my life by doing that. It's all about what you believe in your life. If you believe that finding someone to love is a very rare, hard, scarce, dim prospect, you'll be right! You'll experience your life exactly as you believe. Yes, you are that powerful! I like David's work because he's all about mind set, abundance and self love. We have it within us to be great, so why not shine. It doesn't matter what you look like, how much you weigh, what kind of physical challenges you may have. No more excuses, please.

Reply

sandy h

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Intern Dan when i looked through the bank window he was talking to a blonde hair girl. the saying goes blondes have more fun. but the way i look at it so do us brunettes. he would sometime look over my direction. so i said to my daughter give me that deposit i am going in to check this out. my daughter said he might be married. i said that null and voids my chances.

Reply

sandy h

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Here is one for the record books how would u react to this one. I have a male friend at work and we were talking about homosexuality and he was telling me about what he heard about two girls kissing and to end the conversation i said if you are not careful i will tell what i want to do with a guy and when he walked around the corner i said hey do not go in now with a red face. comical usually he comes back you are not right girl.

Reply

Leanne

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Hi Guys Off topic..but not as much as Shogo!!! :) I am self sabotaging in dating. I did it again this week and pushed and pushed and pushed this guy away until he, well, went away! Any tips to stop it? It is fear of being badly hurt. I throw everything at them that I have so that they don't get close. Blah :P Leanne

Reply

Tony K

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

@Leanne, Can you describe how you are pushing this guy away? I think I am experiencing the same thing with another girl. @Lakegirl, What you said was beautiful!! I experienced the same challenge for a long time. I hated my skin color and my eyes. I basically hated being Asian to the point where I wanted to give up life(if you know what I mean) It sounds ridiculous, but it shows how powerful believing can do. I love how you said, "You’ll experience your life exactly as you believe. Yes, you are that powerful!" I stand by it whole heartily. Now in life, I genuinely believe that I'm this sexy, exotic, fantastic Asian. @Dominic, How long have you been in a relationship with this chick? -TK

Reply

Tony K

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Listen David!! Soooooooooooooo I was curious if you have kids and if you do, are you going to teach your kids everything you have learned about dating and relationships?? -TK

Reply

John

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Watching another reality matchmaking show called "Love broker". Lori is a matchmaker, ( do you know her too Dave?) and she is trying to find another single guy his soulmate. Well, guess what. Surprise, surprise. He isn't a truck driver. He's the vice president of a company. Imagine that. Another rich, successful, thin, guy getting hooked up.... Shocking. Lori just said something that I totally agree with though. She is taking the rich, successful, thin guy that every woman wants, and trying to find his perfect, physical, type. And Lori said,, " physical appearance is the first door to attraction. It's not the only door, but it's the first door." Finally, a "dating expert" that gets it. It is all about looks. Looks is the first door. Well, if you don't get through the first door, you can't get to the second, and third door,, right? .. RIGHT. Well,, I can't be the vice president of a company. I don't have the educational background. I need to pay bills, so I can't go back to school. Plus, I don't have the networking contacts, to get a high paying, successful job. And I am NOT good looking. Explains why I can never get through the first door. I guess I'm screwed.

Reply

KC

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

John Seriously? You're using reality tv as a good source for making a point about real dating.At the end of the day shows like that are about entertainment.They are meant to feed into societal stereotypes.I'm sure if you went out and did some of the observation David suggest you'd see plenty of attractive people with "unattractive" people.I used to believe looks were more important until I started seeing average guys with attractive women.They didnt look flashy or drive nice cars either.That may sounds hard to believe because a lot of people live in their own bubble and dont' completely see their surroundings.

Reply

John

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Wow,, I am watching the date that Lori set up, and the guy is 40 and single. The girl she set him up with is GRILLING him about why he is still single, and she is looking at him like a piece of DIRT. WHAT A BITCH!! I just know if I ever got a date again, I would have to go through the same thing. No one is ever going to want an old loser who has been alone for the last 13 years. I'll just live out the rest of my miserable life all alone, and die a lonely old trucker.

Reply

John

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Yes!! I am using reality tv for an example. Look in the local newspaper and find the company names of matchmaking services in your area, and visit their websites. Guess what you'll find... There are no services that cater to men who are not rich, or men who are not, at least, executives. Lori's company is called Project Soulmate. I visited their website. It says they cater specifically to " elite singles" . ELITE = RICH.

Reply

Florin G.

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Hello David, When you're having no sexual experience, how do you avoid treating women as sexual objects?

Reply

John

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

By the way,, KC,, I DO drive a flashy car. Car has nothing to do with it. Women define men by their careers. And regardless of wether it was said on a reality TV show or not,, what Lori said about looks is dead on. "Physical appearance is the first door to attraction." Just because it was said on reality tv doesn't make it any less true.

Reply

KC

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Hey David I know you get a lot of questions but I've been wondering how you get such good videos for your videos of you talking to women.I've seen clips of the bootcamps and others you've posted.I'm sure it must be hard to film and not have the women distracted by it.

Reply

Lakegirl

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Hey there Tony! Thanks for the shout-out! I appreciate it and I'm glad you were inspired by what I wrote. It's so wonderful to hear about your journey to greater self acceptance and overcoming struggle and self doubt. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay for me to be uniquely me, and that I was beautiful and "good enough" just as I am. I'm so happy for you and that you're living your life celebrating yourself rather than hiding and wallowing away in self loathing. It's all about choice. We are all beautiful and special in our own right and in our own way. Most importantly, what's in your heart, who are you as a person, what do you have to offer the world or another person. You hear so much whining from people about what they're not getting, etc. intead of understand it's about what you're giving, or perhaps "not giving". All the best to you Tony! Great stuff!

Reply

John

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Off topic,,, I'm watching another reality show called "million dollar listing", and all I can think is ,, WHY!!!,, Why, Why, Why,, didn't I get into real estate. Dude just pocketed a $75,000.00 commission check. That's as much as I make in a whole year! If I could do it all again. :(

Reply

Dominic

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Tony K I've known her for 7 years and we just had our anniversary 23rd of last month. What's going on between us i really had no signs. When we broke up last time I looked back and saw the times. I did walk away and let her go, she came back. But the way she's acting right now makes no sense at all. It's like she's angry right now and she's taking it out on me because she's so stressed out and she won't let me make her happy. If there's anything i'd normally do that made her happy she doesn't want me to do it right now. It's like she wants to be upset with me. Last week we were the best couple you've ever seen, then this week i'm some terrible boyfriend who didn't do anything wrong. "That's just the way she feels" O,o but what she's saying this week isn't true it's a defensive reaction that i've seen her put up with other things but now it's with me. So far i'm just giving her time and space and not bugging her. Showing I don't "need" her and i'm fine. but is that enough for now? Is there something else i can do? by the way, tell me to move on there's other girls doesn't help me at all.

Reply

Lakegirl

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Hey Dominic. Saw your comment above about what does and doesn't help you. I enjoyed chatting with you last night and truly wanted to offer support. When you do speak with your lady again, why not have an open and honest discussion about everything. Let her know you're confused, tell her what you need and ask her about what she's feeling. If she's simply going through something and is pushing you away out of pain, perhaps you can support her and help her with it. However, if she's playing games with you and treating you unfairly, that's a totally different story. It sounds as though it will be difficult for you to let her go without some clarity from her, so that's another way to go. Either way, you deserve to be with someone who adores you and does not waiver in their feelings for you. Best wishes!

Reply

Dominic

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Lakegirl You and Dan and soon to be Tony K have been very helpful, I tried sitting down with her Wed, and having a honest conversation with her. I was completely honest but you know how you just "Know" when someone is lying because you know them so well and you know the truth when you hear it. I'm not talking about being naive and looking for something that's not there just like "What did you do?" (Nothing) "What happened" (Nothing) you know they're not telling the truth it's that same thing. She has a lot of family stress, school stress, and looks like she's taking it out on me. I'm there for her and she knows that she knows how i feel, i just don't know how i can comfort her when she's asking me not to. She thinks everything is okay when i can see her suffering. She's losing sleep every night. When she's extremely upset she doesn't allow me to comfort her and pushes me away, when she's down she says "I don't know why i did that i'm so sorry" Right now i'm basically giving her space is that my best option so far?

Reply

Tony K

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Dominic, How many times you guys broke it off and come back together again? Lakegirl, It's great to come across people like you. We all know there is a lot of people who whine, but the ones who are not proactive gets me really annoyed and frustrated. If you're currently single, I'm confident with an attitude like that, you'll find somebody equally as amazing. John, What is it exactly that you want in life that will bring absolute happiness?? I'm especially curious about you and I want do to some mind probing mhuahahahaha!! lol BTW Intern Dan, That pic is a boss. I like it!

Reply

Dominic

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Tony we have only broke up one time and she came back after 1 week, that was in Dec

Reply

KC

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

John I never said people arent into looks.The point I'm trying to make is that a lot of unattractive people date attractive people.Looks help but many attractive people don't have the social skills to go with their looks.If you've just got looks you'll end up turning people off or get used. Matchmaking is not completely about finding love.A lot of the clients end up being repeat business because it's better for business if the person keeps coming back.It most likely caters to wealthy people because they have money to burn.The average joe doesn't have money they can easily part with which is not good business for most matchmakers. As for your real estate comment: Its a lot like dating people have to feel good about the person and what they're investing in.No offense but the comments you made about dating give off that positive feeling.

Reply

Intern Dan

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Tony K, thanks! Dominic, I'm also going to throw my support behind the "have an honest conversation with her" option. When you sensed she was lying, did you call her on it? Have you been honest with your feelings? Leanne, how do you push them away? Lakegirl, you said something super important. If only more women knew they were more than their bodies we'd have a lot happier and sexier women. Finally, John, where did you get your ideas about yourself? Whoever put these ideas into your brain needs a severe beating.

Reply

Dominic

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

No I didn't call her on it because of past experience she doesn't admit it until after the fact, and she gets more upset for me saying shes lying and I know how she feels, she doesn't like me being right because most of the time I am and she hates that lol

Reply

john

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

All I can say is this,, you will never hear any woman say ,, "i wish I could find a short, chunky, ugly 39 year old truck driver, who lives in an apartment, and has been dateless for the last 13 years. " And as far as what would make me happy,, I just want what everyone else has. I don't know another person who is single. Not one. There are no single women in my age range (over 30), near where I live. I'm single, in a married town. Another reason I don't think the Chicago seminar would help me. Single women are everywhere in Chicago. When I got home, things would be the same. (plus,, with gas prices,, money is getting tight. I don't think I will be able to throw that kind of money on a bootcamp. ) And @KC,, what do you think I do? Go out with a frown on my face, and say negative stuff to people? Only people who don't know me would think that. I don't talk about this kind of shit to people in person. Dating is the topic here,, and I say what I believe. This crap doesn't come up out in public, or even with friends. I put on the happy face, and try to sound positive,, even when inside,, all I do is suffer alone. So, could I sell real estate? Yeah,, I could. My dating situation, (or lack of), has no bearing on what I could accomplish professionally,, if I could get my foot in the door.

Reply

Leanne

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

@ Intern Dan and Tony: it's easy to push them away. I give them the full picture of the kids dad. That works every time. I don't need to do this. I am just scared that if I meet someone that I really like and that there are issues that I will be dumped on my head. So, I tell them instead and get dumped on my head. I did it this week. I got a bit spooked by how smoothly something was running with someone. Now I am regretting it like no tomorrow. Is there ant undo cure for this? @ intern Dan - love the new pic!

Reply

Intern Dan

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

Thanks Leanne, now, I've got a question for you about your kid's dad. Is he really that bad? Or are you using him as a tool to scare guys away? And could the timing be part of it too? If you've only been seeing a guy for a little bit and start talking about a crazy ex that can be super intense for something new. The undo cure is to have no expectations going in. You're going in expecting to be dumped and then you fulfill your own expectation. Try going in with the attitude that no matter what happens your life will be richer for the experience.

Reply

Adam

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

Confucius say: Fat man going through airport metal-detector sideways is going to Bangkok. @DW - Looks like there's a white jacket in there. I can't imagine anyone getting away with that, without looking like the Good Humour Man. This post reminded me of the video where I first found DW - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XMzxHrGW_w I think that's DW's first video on youtube. I keep seeing this girl on my way in and out of yoga class, and she seems to smile at me more that what I'm used to. Not sure how far out of my way I should go to start talking her up...? Normally I wouldn't pay too much attention to her, but I like girls who smile at me ;) That's a good sign :)

Reply

Leanne

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

@ Dan - I totally use it to stop men getting close to me. When all clumped together, it does look bad. Currently, there are no issues with the Dad. When I spoke about it at the time, I didn't consciously mean to do it. It was later when I was thinking about it that I realised it was coming from a place of fear. I know how dumb this is and what a self fulfilling prophecy this is. I keep looking down the track instead of being present with the reality of now. I just can't see how I could form a relationship with someone when I have three young children. Most if the men have kids, too. It would be like the Brady Bunch trying to move forward... I don't know - I have also been recently VERY hurt by someone. This man came out of the woodwork at the same time that happened. The man that has really hurt me I have known for a very long time. I finally had courage to message him today saying that right now, I can't stay in contact with him. I cried for an hour after sending the message. I have known this man for seventeen years. To not just hear from him, or send a quick message is going to be very hard to adjust to. Yet I know that I need to look after myself right now. Blah :( :p Leanne

Reply

Leanne

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

ps excuse if that doesn't make sense. The last couple of hours have been pretty emotional. I will get there.

Reply

Justin

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

So basically, I just realized what it means to be clingy. I met this girl at the gym and got her number. I texted her a whole bunch tryin to meet up with her. When I didn't get a response, i tried again because I was desperate to hang out with her. At the time, I was just trying to make it happen, but what I should have done, was not worried about her and found someone else. This girl was not responding to me but I bombarded her with texts and phone calls. I was too much in her life for how well we knew each other and it freaked her out. I had a huge self-realization. I need to gauge relationships better from now on. And I ultimately need to realize that she's not the Great White Buffalo, because there is no Great White Buffalo. For those of you who don't know the Great White Buffalo, she's the one that got away. The best of the herd, and you had a clear shot. But for some reason you just couldn't make the kill. You couldn't take the shot. There was something so beautiful about her that you put her on the pedestal, and began to worship her. Because she was the Great White Buffalo. In reality, its all a buncha bullshit. Every girl is the same and they all deserve your respect. People have boundaries and you have to know what they are. Be good at gauging your relationships with others and know where you are. With this awareness, the world will make sense. You'll act more appropriately and people will enjoy your company more. thanks for reading.

Reply

Leanne

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

@ Dan: I take back what I said about the Dad. My youngest has been in hospital this weekend after getting superglue in his eye. The dad didn't tell me until Michael was discharged. The dad made the outpatients appointments for when I could take him. Not one block of visits goes past without a major problem. This is the second eye injury in 8 weeks there. I am furious.

Reply

Michael Cee

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

The upper wall is the magic wall; it contains the G-Spot. Friday is the 16th of March. Beware the Ides of March, the date when debts are annually settled (that's Thursday).

Reply

Intern Dan

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

Leanne, that's terrible to hear about your son. But, your son's father doesn't need to affect your dating life now, anymore than dealing with the consequences of his irresponsibility. Let the guys you date discover how great you are without worrying that your exes will ruin things for you.

Reply

sandy h

Sunday, March 11th, 2012

Leanne I pray all is well about your son.

Reply

Kevin

Monday, March 12th, 2012

When I was 4 years old I knocked myself unconcious twice in one week...Doctor said he couldn't believe it.

Reply

Dominic

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

For all those who were giving me advice just letting you know things are working out. I'll let you know how things go if you're still interested Thanks again Intern Dan Lakegirl Tony K

Reply

Dez

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Leanne, I hope that your son makes a full, speedy recovery. I'm sorry that his father is dropping the ball on keeping him well supervised! Hang in there. Also, regarding pushing away men, I think that you and I are sort of 'self-protecting' ourselves, and that it's not a completely conscious thing. You are pushing potentially good guys away, while I seem to keep attracting emotionally unavailable or otherwise undesirable types, which turns me off and makes me feel safer being alone. Now, I'm quite aware of why I am doing this, and I want to eradicate why these things keep coming up so that eventually, I can have good love. So ask yourself - why do you think you're pushing them away before they have a chance to hurt you? Or, maybe you don't feel worthy somehow of a good man, so you self-sabotage so that you stay single. Only you can figure out the answer. A famous artist, Vassily Kandinsky once said, "No risk, no art." I would modify that, for myself, you, John, and anyone else who is making choices based out of fear. When we have risk, there is risk of failure. But, there is also great potential for attaining a great, meaningful and lasting relationship with someone. I read once that the same ideogram in the Chinese alphabet means both 'danger' and 'opportunity'. Yes, we should make sure that we are in touch with, and loving ourselves, and radiating love before seeking it in another. Yes, it also should be a calculated risk, sharing our hearts/minds/bodies/souls with another. But I have to believe somewhere deep down that it's worth it. And, for myself, that I deserve someone who is into me as much as I am into him! With some hard work, soul searching, research and self love, we can get there. Now I just have to want to try! lol Dez

Reply

Lakegirl

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Hi Dominic! Glad to hear your good news. Keep us posted!

Reply

Dez

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Dear Dominic, I have been where you are now. I sacrificed a great deal to be with my ex fiance, and he seemed to just trash my feelings, discard his word to me, and totally contradict everything that we had discussed and planned. He found someone else, and was using me until his transition to his next woman was complete. Meanwhile, I was clinging desperately to him, trying to persuade him to give us a chance, to remember what I thought we had. And, predictably, the more I tried, the more I hurt, the more he pulled away. At the risk of sounding harsh, it sounds like she's wanting out, but is not courageous nor ready to break it off completely with you. He did the same thing to me! I know that it's hard, but I think that if you've already sat down with her and tried to emotionally reconnect and also have a heart to heart about what she wants, where you stand and where things are going, and you still don't have clarity, then you've reached an emotional cul-de-sac. I think that giving her enough space to come towards you is the only, and best, thing that you can do now. DO NOT pressure her in any way. I know that it's hard, but don't give off an air of desperation either, or she'll run even harder. Even if you have to 'fake it till you make it', come from a place of strength, inner confidence and remain centered. I think you should let her contact you first - basically the no-contact rule, but with a twist. You only contact her if she calls/emails/facebooks/texts you first! That way, you let her set the pace and the tone for your interactions and communication. I think that Intern Dan's questions that he asked you earlier in this blog are right on point. I thought that my world was ending, that I was losing this great love who called me 'wife' to everyone and who I'd moved across the country for. But in reality, I am SO much better off without him! It fucking hurt like hell, I won't sugarcoat it. But, the lessons, strength and perseverance that this situation brought me were worth it. Perhaps this situation will resolve itself, and she'll see what a gem of a guy she has! You sound really amazing, and that you live a rich and vibrant life. But, if not, know that you ARE somebody, and that you deserve someone who loves you back as much as you love them! Sometimes, people just aren't ready (or worthy) of what we have to give. But, it's not our job to 'show' them, or to change their mind. I hope that this helps. Know that there's a brighter day on the other side, no matter what the outcome. Sorry to be so long winded. Thanks for reading, D.

Reply

Dominic

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Lakegirl It's going good, I listened to all the advice i got on here and other places and it's paying off. I learned the my gut instincts were correct and what she was saying and how she was acting were truly lies but she believed them because of the incredible pressure she's under from her family friends school life ect. I was the closest person to her at the time and sometimes the people closest to you are the ones you hurt the most. But she's coming around and with all the new info i learned and advice i got, things will work out just fine ;) Dez I ask people for advice and i said i'd read everything they had to say, i was surprised you said something to me. But i understand your pain and your advice. I was actually doing the no contact with a twist like you were talking about and it's paying off ;) winning her back day by day but that is GREAT advice. thank you even though i was already doing it lol. Your ex fiance reminds me of the relationship i had with my 1st love. We were promised to each other told everyone we were going to get married all that i would have gave anything up for her but she just simple said "I just don't feel the same about you anymore" my world was crushed and rocked and shattered. I learned a lot from other people and from my own experiences. The girl i have is a keeper. So what i have to work a little more to keep her, as long as i learn how to do it correctly my hard work will pay off and won't be so hard anymore. She's had a very traumatic and emotional life so far but that's not scarring me or pushing me away. I will be there for her. I am a good person on my own, but i'm a better person with her. We make each other better people. ;) it goes both ways and she's not used to that. she's used to guys leaving, not sticking around using and abusing. I'm stronger then that. I don't scare easily so thanks to everyones help I will learn from my mistakes and keep her. ;) I believe she's the one and i'll fight until proven otherwise. :D Sincerely, Dominic

Reply

Lakegirl

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

Hi again Dominic. You sound like a very special man and your lady is lucky to have found you. Relationships are sometimes tricky waters to navigate, and it can be challenging to strike the right balance between understanding and supporting another while still maintaining your own truth and integrity. It sounds like you're doing that! Honest communication is the key. Never settle for less than you need and deserve. You mentioned that your GF has a traumatic history in her background. If that is the case, she will likely benefit from some professional support in the future. Traumatic and highly dysfunctional childhood issues never go away on their own and continually will pop up without intervention. On a bright note however, with the right help, those issues can be processed and cleared in a way that brings about real healing and change. I hope all will continue to go well for the both of you. Best wishes!

Reply

Dominic

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

We'll see what happens and i'll keep you updated.

Reply

Tony K

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Great to hear the news Dominic! I bet you guys can definitely still be friends if things were to turn out differently. I wish you the best and Leanne too! -TK

Reply

Friday Q & A: Observe A Woman And Then Say…

About David

Recommended for You:

How to Steal a Girl Away from Her Boyfriend

Why P#ssy Isn’t The Holy Grail!

How to Hit on a Waitress

The Power Of Investing In Yourself

70 Comments | Join the Discussion!

Cancel reply

Shogo (Coach)

Shogo (Coach)

Shogo (Coach)

Bobby

Dominic

KC

KC

Intern Dan

Dominic

Kevin

Intern Dan

Dominic

Hey Burn

Intern Dan

Dominic

Lakegirl

Dominic

James

Frank

Lakegirl

Lakegirl

Dominic

Lakegirl

Dominic

sandy h

John

Intern Dan

Lakegirl

sandy h

sandy h

Leanne

Tony K

Tony K

John

KC

John

John

Florin G.

John

KC

Lakegirl

John

Dominic

Lakegirl

Dominic

Tony K

Dominic

KC

Intern Dan

Dominic

john

Leanne

Intern Dan

Adam

Leanne

Leanne

Justin

Leanne

Michael Cee

Intern Dan

sandy h

Kevin

Dominic

Dez

Lakegirl

Dez

Dominic

Lakegirl

Dominic

Tony K