When I was a little kid, about three and a half years old, my brother passed away.

He was almost 10 months old, and he died of pneumonia.

Literally, he was coughing at 4:00 in the morning. My mother never went in and checked on him, and an hour later she found him dead in his crib.

The pain that she must have felt, the experience that she must have had, must have been devastating for her young soul. At the time she was only 25 years old. I can’t imagine what that was like for her at that time.

Throughout my entire childhood, I heard that God doesn’t exist. My mother was adamant that there was no such thing as God. Because if God existed, God would have not have taken the life of her beautiful baby boy.

So my viewpoint on God was always one of non-existence. I truly believed that God did not exist on every core level.

I was proud that I didn’t believe in God. I called myself an atheist most of my life. As a matter of fact, I had no faith or no spirituality at all.

Yet I would always consider myself a spiritual person.

I believed in the power of energy and connection, and there was always signs all over the place of things that were going to happen for me.

I thought those are things that I just manifested on my own.

A couple of years ago — actually about a year and a half ago — the healer that I go to told me I needed to go find God.

That it was important for me.

He said if I don’t find God, I’m never going to get to a higher level of consciousness.

So I looked for God. I literally went around and looked at every street corner. I looked for signs that God existed. I asked God questions and never really got the full answers. I was searching, and I was hoping that I would find Him.

I took a plane ride this year. I sat down next to a gentleman four hours, and we talked, and he told me I needed to find my own God.

Now, that makes more sense to me.

I need to find my own God.

So to me, God was a sexy blonde, a sexy brunette wearing a bikini. Because if God wears a bikini, God’s going to definitely have my attention.

And that’s where it kind of dawned on me. God’s been trying to get my attention for a long, long time. God’s been speaking to me in so many different ways, except I would never listen.

When I got up on stage, God would be whispering in my ear and telling me the things that I need to say or do, channeling in energy because I was literally tapping the energy of all the people in the audience.

God was always telling me, giving me intuitive things to do. To follow my intuition. Because if you think about it, God is within you, and within all of us.

Growing up in the ’60s and ’70s and ’80s, God was always this little white man up in the clouds at the pearly gates of heaven.

And spiritually started really being pushed out into the masses a lot more. I started realizing more and more over the last couple of years that God is actually within me.

God and the universe actually have my back on so many different levels.

So, how do you wrap yourself around your spirituality? And what does it mean to you?

Today I’d like to challenge you to look a little deeper on what it means, what God is to you.

Is it religion? Is it within you? Is it a sense of self? A sense of spirituality?

What is it, exactly, for you?