Do you remember that old saying, “when a young man’s fancy turns to love?“

Thousands upon thousands of songs have been written about love.

And there are thousands upon thousands of movies and TV shows all about love.

But in all the movies and all the songs and all the TV shows, not one of them really explores modern love.

You see, nowadays, love has actually become marketed to us like a product.

People Google “how to fall in love,” because you can’t get anywhere nowadays without Googling anything. Everybody’s in a Google neurosis (which is why I call Google.com by it’s real name: neurotic.com).

Everywhere you turn and everywhere you go, you see things like “seven steps to finding love.”

There’s “four ways to get the band.”

There’s “thirteen ways to make him fall in love.”

So everybody and their mother is now an expert at the falling-in-love-game.

But, the real culprit is actually the online apps.

When it was just websites like match.com and eHarmony, you had to actually make an effort if you were going to get on Match.com or eHarmony and actually go through a process of writing a profile and giving information and talking about the long walks on the beach and searching for your perfect partner in crime.

Men and women had to e-mail and actually get to know one another. But now, love has become a marketing game with all these gimmicks and tricks.

You see, the illusion of love has always been that there’s going to be this instant attraction.

You probably heard it from your grandparents.

How many stories have you heard about your grandmother or great grandfather who saw your grandmother or great grandmother and the second she walked across the street headed towards the soda shop, he knew at that moment that that woman was going to be his lawfully wedded wife?

He felt it. He pursued her. He courted her. He sent her flowers. And then when it was time to get married, he actually asked her dad for the hand for a hand in marriage.

You’ve heard about the good old days when people actually courted one another. There weren’t as many opportunities for people to actually think that the magic was going to happen. You had to actually get to know somebody.

But nowadays love is just a disposable commodity. Human beings are basically thrown in the recycle bin every single day.

You go on a date, and if you don’t feel that illusion of chemistry, you don’t feel that magic moment after an hour, you’ll never see that person again because you can go home right now and just swipe for another person.

I truly believe that people are now in search of the magic drug called hopium. Whenever they hit one of those dating apps like Bumble or Tinder, the sound should really be:

Hope.

Hope.

Hope.

Hope.

We’ve been lead to believe that without this initial burst of chemistry, a relationship is not worth pursuing. Which is the biggest marketing scam of the 21st century.

The 21st century is all about marketing scams. You’re endlessly marketed everything, and love is one of the biggest businesses out there right now.

You’re led to believe that if you don’t find that instant chemistry, there’s somebody else waiting on your magic phone when you get home.

So we don’t give people a chance anymore because we really truly don’t even know what we’re even looking for. We’re all in search of that chemical dopamine rush – because that’s what all these dating apps give you, really. They give you a rush of dopamine to your brain. It’s no different than being addicted to gambling.

Except this time, you’re gambling for love. You’re gambling to find love. You’re playing a human slot machine or a human roulette.

And why are we doing this? Because we’ve been led to believe that love is something that is instantaneous. We’ve seen it in movies, we’ve seen it in TV shows. You’re supposed to have that magic moment, so if you don’t have it with this total stranger that you saw a picture of on your little tiny phone, your iPhone, well then you know there’s somebody else out there.

But that’s not the right way to find love. You see, love is about finding your best friend in the whole wide world. And more importantly, it’s about finding yourself first.

You see, we all have a unique blueprint. A blueprint of who we are, and what we’re all about. What we want to feel. What we need to feel. How we need to feel. And most people don’t want to explore that. They’d rather search for the chemical rush of dopamine. They’d rather search and not give anybody a chance.

Because they’ve been marketed so much that you’re going to find this instant attraction, instant chemistry, this instant relationship.

The genius of Bumble and Tinder is you look at a picture, meet somebody in person, and if you don’t have that instant love connection, there’s somebody else waiting on your magic wand, your phone, when you get home.

Well, that’s not true love. True love is getting to know somebody and forming a relationship, a friendship. If you’re looking for lust on your phone, then you’re looking in all the right places.

But if you’re looking for true love, it starts from within. Recognizing your own unique love blueprint, being able to communicate, and giving other people a chance. Listening to who they are, and what they’re all about. Not looking for some instantaneous spark over a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks.

It’s time to reevaluate your search for love.