Expectations And Dating – What Is Your Reality?

Men's Advice Mindset, Uncategorized

By David Wygant November 9, 2011 220 Shares

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

I woke up this morning and realized the end is near.

Ok…not the end of the world. Nor the end of the day.

But the end of the year.

So I took a long walk along the beach and thought about this:

How many of you had the year that you expected?

How many of you were able to create that incredible dating life this year that you know deep down inside that you could have?

And now how many of you are already thinking about next year and how next year will be different than this year?

All of you need to sit yourselves down in a room and listen to today’s podcast. I am about to share with you some hard facts and wake you up to what reality is really all about.

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

59 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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Shogo (Coach)

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Thanks for the message today David! I also would like to say it is an honor to be on the blog, interacting with everyone, sharing what I know, learning and getting feedback from all of you guys as well... I truly enjoy myself on the blog every day and it's great having everyone else along for the ride--including the commenters and the majority of the readers who are here in spirit ;)

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Lynnie

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Gosh, I was thinking this today too. I suffered with burn out earlier in the year. Sick family, too much travel, taking on too much at work and moving into my own place. Now we are submitting SOWs for 2012 and I can't believe where 2011 has gone. It would be nice to share my space with someone now I have stopped and thought I really need to get a life...

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Raf

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

David where do you come up with this stuff. It’s a great message. I see you moving beyond just dating and relationships, and becoming more of a “life couch.” 2012 is going to be your year.

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Collin

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

A year ago, I would have had a very different response to this podcast. About two years ago, I discovered PUA over Christmas break from college. I had broken up with another short term girlfriend following a string of dating girls who I had little attraction to but who were willing to have sex with me. Considering that I didn't kiss a girl until I had graduated high school and that I didn't touch a breast until my sophomore year of high school, finding three girls in a row who wanted to get naked and play with my penis, I was more than thrilled. I quickly found out that those girls were pretty damaged. Not only that, but I still had no idea how to attract women. I met one of them online, and the other two pretty much just fell in my lap. I didn't have any confidence around women, and when I found David's videos on Youtube, I started consuming everything PUA-related I could. Very quickly, I realized that David offered a lot better material. I picked up the concepts very quickly, but actually putting it into action was quite a challenge. It wasn't until about 6 months ago that things really started to click. I start conversations with women routinely, can get numbers at bars, understand attraction, etc. I'm finally at a point, two years later, where I feel like I'm in control of my own fate with dating. Could I benefit from a boot camp? Oh yeah. I will say though, if you can get the money together to get coaching now, do it. If I'd had the money for coaching, it probably wouldn't have taken so much time to get to this point in my life.

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Mark

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I'd like to expand if I could on the notion that we are only here once. Something that has really sunk in in the past year or so is that the chance of you and I being here is astronomically low. So low our brains can't begin to imagine. Just being conceived is millions to one. Then our parents had to meet and get it on at the exact right time. Then the same has to happen with our grandparents and their parents etc etc. right through to the dawn of man and our ancestors before then. All those bacteria, fish, mammals that have survived and pro-created against the odds means we can talk about it now. Not just that but we are lucky enough to be born in a time with art, science, music and live in a country where food and clean water are always available to us. If that doesn't blow your mind then think about it until it does and if it still doesn't you might as well end it because you're dead inside. When I'm down it helps me to put all of our "problems" in perspective and realize that this life is special which motivates me to make a better life.

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Jennifer

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

The beginning of the year my new year resolutions were to go the gym, volunteer in my community, and to open to meeting new people. So far this year, I regularly workout that helped me lose three sizes. I volunteer once a month to health center. I got involved in my church and was voted secretary for one of the ministry. This allow me to meet new people and that lead to meeting my business mentor. She was inspiration until last month. She passed away in auto accident. The middle of the year, I was thinking of dating. I met my husband at 20 and divorced at 39. Never dated before I met my ex. After my ex, fell into two relationship. They were nice guys, however I was just going through the motion. Thats the reason I took 8 months break. I remember listening to you. You were a guest on another workshop. Inside of a man's mind. I purchase it when I was trying to save my marriage. Something you said had made a huge impact on me. If you still getting bullied in your relationship, then you need to work on yourself. The next four years had been a journey and I discover the real me. I went to your website and purchase two of your products. I couldnt believe it. I wasnt alone and then I started to read your daily blogs and comments. Next year, I want to face my fears about dating. I will like to be in a great relationship that I want. I want help.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Going to talk about 3 things in this comment, #1. Relating to this topic, #2, relating to David's new video about one on one coaching, and #3, What happened in my day with Jenny, which is the most important. #1. I never had a year that I expected, all was unpredictable. #2. I saw your video David https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jmskYhcu5A about one on one coaching, and I made observations. like the fact that you have a perfect hairline(I had a crooked one) or how you stand up straight(I stand up like this --> https://images.wikia.com/batman/images/f/f9/Heath_Ledger_as_the_Joker.JPG ) You made suggestions with confidence, and the women liked it. you are a good role model, men should want to be like you in my eyes. #3. Most important... Houston we have a problem... while driving Jenny home, I asked what she liked about a guy, she said she wants a nice guy, a guy who cares, who respects her, and I told her "no you don't", then she said "oh, so if you know what I want, tell me please..." I told her that she wants a guy like me, I was waiting for it, I was waiting for that yes, that kiss, and the night that we would have home having sex like a man and a woman on a stranded island... but... no. she chuckled and said, that she didn't see me that way... "sorry" I just kept driving, I put on the radio, and heard a good song that made me feel lonely. so in the middle of the highway I told her to get the fuck out of the car. my old senses were coming back to me man, like a moth to the flame. I apologized and let her back in the car. didn't talk to her the whole ride until the end. I apologized when I parked in front of her house(as a last resort to get in her pants) and I failed again... nothing I could do would make her attracted to me. she told me not to talk it serious, but I did, she built my confidence then broke it. I waved goodbye and told her no hard feelings, she smiled and I smiled(a fake one...) back. I will still drive her home, and act friendly. at least she was fair... but I drove home to no music. throat hurts David... throat hurts... I'm holding in my tears now, because if I let it out, I lose. my ego goes out the window if I let it out, so I won't, I'm swallowing the bitter pill. What did I do wrong? and why do women lead me on?

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Theresa

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

tom, i may be wrong but sometimes girls just want a good friend. i'd say just continue the friendship and continue to look for girls, hey you never know she may be able to help you out with that.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Theresa, I'm not going to be a her friend, it's what she LEAD me to believe... it's either an interpersonal relationship between me and her, or we are just acquaintances. she doesn't like me or look at me like a potential boyfriend, maybe because I'm not good enough or something, so I'm just going to be an acquaintance to her. Damn, I mean excuse my language but... I really wanted to fuck her. I'm sure these feelings will blow over by tomorrow... but damn, I feel like a kid who didn't get invited to summer camp with his friends, I feel left out. My one question that I probably will never know is... did she do it to hurt me? if she didn't then it's fair, but if she did want to intentionally hurt my feelings, then that is unfair, and I must MAKE it fair..., but I don't know, I can't prove that, for now she's innocent or was being fair unless proven otherwise.

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Lynnie

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Tom, gosh... well I am surprised she got back in the car as I would run a mile if someone acted like that with me. The problem is you don't actually like yourself. If you don't like yourself then that is going to come across. Yeah, true girls like the idea of a "nice guy" but really they don't actually exist. We want a nice guy with an edge. Women want someone they feel safe with, have a laugh and can release with. It is the type of bad boy we like which is key, someone who loves and adores women and who is happy in himself not the "players and bragger of conquests" who is a little sleazy. Truth, If you can't even be friends with a girl then how are you going to ever get into a relationship...

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Mark

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Not that I can take you seriously Tom but lets assume that story is true. That you told her to get the fuck out of the car on the highway probably confirmed to her that she made the right decision.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Mark first of all... why would I make up this up? I wish I could lie to you and say everything went well, I wish I could tell you guys that I fucked her brain out but no... I'm an honest guy, as much as this sucks, I gotta do it, to get the SPECIFIC advice from the coaches. so yes what happened is true, everything I say in this blog, EVERYTHING is true. anyways... How did that confirm that she made the right decision?... I didn't leave her stranded, I just expressed my feelings, and told her to get out. I took a breather and let her back in, I apologized as well. not for nothing, but she should've just complied when I said LIKE A CONFIDENT ALPHA MALE that she wants a guy like me. I was the most confident that I've ever been, more than you could ever imagine.

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Collin

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Tom, you don't kick a girl out of a car on the highway. That's ridiculous and a total asshole move. Of course she didn't turn you down to hurt you. She turned you down because she doesn't feel that connection with you. Get over yourself.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Collin Get over myself? come on dude, you know why I did what I did wasn't because I'm conceited or hold myself high in value, you know I don't even like myself, so why would you say I'm conceited? I can't get over myself when I wasn't even "all over" myself. I kicked her out of the car because I'm afraid man, I'm afraid... I didn't leave, or leave her stranded I stayed parked. I let her back in and apologized.

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Mark

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I don't know why, the same reason other people make things up on the internet. It confirms it because she obviously had reservations about taking it further with you and when you acted like that she saw your true colors. If it is true then the help you need is beyond the scope of this blog.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Mark "I don’t know why, the same reason other people make things up on the internet." And that is?... "It confirms it because she obviously had reservations about taking it further with you and when you acted like that she saw your true colors." What confirms what?... Also, she didn't have any reservations for me, she told me that she doesn't want a guy like me. I lost. "If it is true then the help you need is beyond the scope of this blog." Not if... it is true, stop trolling. And if that help you're referring to is therapy, I already go.

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Thomas

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Hey David Great podcast. I think your bang on with your points about finding a mentor. Even the best of us need some guidance and theres no shame in looking to someone as a role model to help us become who we've always wanted to become. Cameron

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Lynnie

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I know we have heard this before but "You are what you think" - if you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you...

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Going to stop the negativity now before things escalate... hopefully you do too @Mark @Collin... I know what I did was wrong, I apologized to her, I know I'm a pathetic person, and I will face the punishment soon. Onto more positive things, I'm entering the stock market on monday, tired of being poor.

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Mark

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

This is going round in circles Tom so I think I'll leave it there.

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Jennifer

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@ Tom, I couldn't believe the change. Day and night. Just reading your comments, made me feel bad for Jenny. Asking her to get of the car because you didnt like the reply. That means you didnt care for her safety and was only thinking of yourself. Whats wrong being friends? That how any relationship begins. Reading your comments I do not believe she mislead you or try to hurt you. On the other hand, your behavior was questionable. Wrong move.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Got a flower company to deliver $199.99 dollars worth of flowers(variety type) and balloons to her front door by tonight, I told them to write "Deepest apologies for today, want to make it up to you this friday, wherever you want to go. we will go as friends, because you are a lovely friend, and deserve the best. P.S. Don't worry about looking your best, you always do. P.S. look behind the card, there is an wallet size photograph for your amusement"(Photo of me with a silly face, don't ask to see it...) I had to do what is right, I will face punishment for being a pathetic person, but I did what was right by apologizing again and showing I care. I took the idea from Eddie murphy in the nutty professor. unoriginal, but hopefully it works, I could've ate dinner with that money.

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john

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@tom,, I told you step by step how to get her,, and you didn't take my advice. I told you to get her on the phone, tell her you're going somewhere, and ask her to come with. Instead,, you get her in person, in a closed in space, (a car), and put her on the spot. That NEVER works out good. Oh well, no biggie,, move on. But, if you want things to end up differently, you gotta take my advice. It's solid. I lack confidence,, I DON'T lack skillz. :) P.s. ,, please tell me you're not going to fire this girl.

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Intern Dan

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I guess it was about a year ago that I heard a podcast like this one. A wake up call for me in my life. I had gone as far as I could on my own and was still miserable. And it was humiliating to admit I couldn't do it on my own. But I had to choose: Do I want to be alone with my ego or drop the ego and really get to the core of who I am and have a fighting chance to be happy. I made the choice and got some help. It was embarrassing and humiliating at first. But it quickly became the best decision of my life.

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john

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

And I spoke too soon... Lol. Please stop the flowers, unless it's too late. Gonna come off as desperate. She might even file a restraining order. Nutty professor is a movie,, not reality,, if you do that in real life, she's not gonna find it romantic,, she's gonna find it SCARY. Just tryin' to warn ya before it's too late.

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john

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Oh, tom, btw,, even though you put on the card that you are ok with being friends,, she knows better. No guy spends 200 dollars on flowers to get a girl as a friend. She's gonna get scared.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@John If she calls me later talking about the flowers and my offer for friday, I will listen to everything you say, step by step. I may have one more chance, and I will not mess this up again. time to set my ego aside for now, and do what I have to do to get it in with her. And I'm not going to fire her, in fact I will insure that her job is secure, because she did deserve what happened. ME, MYSELF, I did the wrong, not her. what I did was unfair and pathetic, I just made it fair by spending the 200 bucks. Jenny didn't deserve that, whores, strippers, criminals deserve that, but not a woman like Jenny or Maybell. what I did in the car was out of fear and I regret it. however Jenny calls me back and accepts my friday offer where I'll make it up to her. she deserves it, even as a friend.

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Intern Dan

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Tom, you're putting so much pressure on yourself and you're being way too intense with Jenny. Remember that there is an abundance of women out there that you can meet and date. When one doesn't like you, don't worry about it. There will be another one. And if you're friends with her... guess what? She's got friends. If she thinks you're a great guy she's going to tr and hook you up with one of her single friends. Now,to be totally honest, kicking her out of the car on the highway put a black mark beside your name that is probably permanent. She's not going to want to date you when she sees that kind of temper and she's certainly not going to set her friends up with you if you're going to act like that. Go out and meet some new girls and start fresh. There's lots of them out there.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@John It's never failed me, I did it for Maybell 11 years ago once, and I did it for my mom when she got knee surgery(even though I don't like her much), they called me thanking me. I'm sure she will, because for some reason, she wasn't mad at me, she even told me to take a deep breath. I think in some capacity likes me, she likes me as a friend. I'm stuck in the friend zone again... but it doesn't matter, what I did was wrong, even if I don't get in her pants, what I did by sending her flowers was necessary. Like Dawsons father said, "you might have not got the girl, you might have not gotten a reward, but you could always carry in your heart that you did the right thing" I wouldn't be able to live with the fact that I treated her unfair when she wasn't being unfair, even though in previous comments I said she was unfair, I was talking out my ass, she was fair. I could live with myself if she was unfair and I was unfair back, but she was FAIR and I was unfair in return. the flowers and friday are my treat to her for my unfairness. btw, thanks for the help John, you'll get a woman real soon, trust me, you're a cool dude.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Intern Dan, Well that's the point of an apology, to show I care and changed. it will never happen again. hell, I'll even let her drive, even though she doesn't have a license. Also, I invited her out anywhere she wants, I will put my ego aside this week so things run smooth, if a guy pushes me, I'll walk away, if trouble comes I'll leave in effort not to screw things up like all the other times. if she is indecisive on where she wants to go, I'll invite her to the tavern to hang out, she will most likely accept that offer because she is 19, and has never been in bar/club/tavern, and I could get her in.

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john

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Thx tom,, I hope things go good for ya,, but just from life experience,,,, Well, let's just say I've been down this road. Where it ends isn't pretty. Lol. But, good luck.

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Paula R

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Hey Tom, I wonder if your attitude of fairness is potentially self-sabotaging. I'm glad you see the error of your ways in the whole car thing, and I genuinely hope she likes the flowers. I do, however, wonder if the things you do to restore fairness actually sabotage your chances. You are very quick to get upset about things, and most people in your situation the other night would have swallowed their pride and said "oh, okay". While it hurts, they would have taken more time to develop what they have with the other person and try to work slowly and hang out with them more to maybe get a better chance with them. Try to keep this in mind - you might find yourself to be more successful in the future! :)

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KJD

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Tom I think you missed a perfect opportunity in the car... When she said “oh, so if you know what I want, tell me please…" My response would have been "instead of telling you what you want I'll show you what you want on Friday night when I take you to dinner" It may have worked it may not have but you would have shown confidence, assertiveness, and a little intrigue. If she said "no" at that point don't get mad just say "oh I understand if you aren't ready for a guy like me, don't worry when you are ready for a man like me just let me know" Again confidence, you are the catch, she would be lucky to have a guy like you. Open the possibility for her to chase you in the future instead of you chasing her. She may not like you in that way right this second but show her your confidence, your 'swagger' and assertiveness and she may change her opinion of you and see you a different way. Best of luck Tom, just remember sometimes it's better to throw a fish back in the pond to catch at a later date. If you get mad and do something irrational as soon as you hear news that isn't what you want to hear you can never take it back. She may forgive you for what you did but she won't forget. If you tell her you are just going to be friends than just be her friend for awhile don't be nice to her for a week or two and hammer her again... If chemistry developes more down the road you can always try again after you show her you just had a moment of irrationality. Remember you are never stuck in the friend zone if mutual attraction exists... But the key word is mutual in that sentence.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Just got off the phone with her, she thanked me for the flowers, laughed about my picture, and she told me not to do it again, she said she rejected me because she felt rushed. she agreed to friday night, she was indecisive, so I suggested the tavern. told her I could get her in even if she's 19, she disagreed, and you know what, she actually maybe saved me from getting in trouble now that I think of it. so I told her that we're going to a restaurant in the RI that I haven't been to in years, Los Andes, and maybe the park, she agreed. that restaurant is pricy, so credit card will take care of it. Now that the monkey is off my back, and I got past the close call... I never do what I did again. On friday I will bring condoms and weed in case we become more than friends. even if we are just friends, I will make sure she has fun.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

*I will never do what I did again.

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Paula R

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Awesome! I'm glad it worked out that way, Tom! :) I'm stoked for you. I'm glad you're going into it prepared but without expectations. In my experience, that's often how it works out for the best! And David, the podcast was great. Very inspiring! It helped me realize how lucky I am, and how I'm so close to being where I'd like to be. I'm a happy girl. Your podcast gave me a great new perspective on just how lucky I am, and how over the past year, I really have made some great changes in my life. I think there is something I will hire someone to help me with in January! I'd like to get past some certain issues I have with a specific part of my life. I am really lucky that they're not even big issues, but they are issues nonetheless, so I will fix them! :) Thank you for your inspiration!

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John

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Glad it worked out Tom,, I really think the flowers were a little over the top,, but it worked out ok, so that's good. Have fun on the date,, and don't push too hard,, she's only 19, so don't be surprised if she doesn't want to move fast. Good luck.

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Anthony

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Tom, dude..How can you read David's shit and be doing half the shit you're doing? If you send her flowers or apologize she's going to look at you like a little desperate bitch. NEVER get mad or upset around a girl. Women need to know that you are strong emotionally and that's mostly what confidence is. And second, never suck up to a girl to get in her pants cause shell see right through it. It is you job as a man to lead so never ask or beg for anything. Think about it, if you asked a girl straight out to fuck you, you think she would given that she's not a complete whore? so never tell a girl that you'll take her anywhere she wants.. Instead, find out about her and where you think she would like to go. Then when youre talking to her, ask her out without really asking her out by saying something like "I'm going to dndjwfjwj on Friday, too bad I gotta go alone." when she gets comforable with you, take her out on a date, again, without asking her or telling that its a date. Just tell her you want to take her somewhere. when you take her out on the first date do something romantic that most people wouldn't do like taking her to go lay with you in the grass under the stars. Don't tell her where you're going at first either just her something like "trust me" when she asks. it's those romantic moments that make us fall in love because we tell ourselves that no one would ever do that for us.. So just pretend like you're in a romantic movie and really do some romantic shit. The moment that made my gf fall in love with me was when it was raining, I ran up to her, spun her around in the air, and went in for the first kiss afterwards. she always tells me that was the moment she fell in love :) haha anyway, just remember dude don't do anything that will make you look needy by sending her flowers to apologize. If anything send her flowers with a card saying " just wanted to show these flowers how beautiful you are" not "Im sorry I'll take you anywhere you want" anyways I think youll be fine if you believe in yourself. Take care dude

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOjv_aDmTLY

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sandra hutchens

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

The beginning of the year was so/so...then i found out somethings that were not pleasing. this past summer when my daughter and her husband came back to tennessee from california we went site seeing i met some people and started to get out more wanted to go camping then thought how it would be nice to camp out with a guy. then as the year went on i got somethings accomplished. but next year i plan on going through a name change i am going back to my maiden name hutchens from my ex marital name wilhelm. so next year i plan on meeting people and going from there and may go out on dates after i get the irons in the fire to kindle. oh the end of time ummm i did not believe it when this guy said it was going to end in may 2011...Lord Jesus himself better tell me or i will not believe it...that is another story.

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sami

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

you're right David, that's exactly how I feel. It's wake up call. I have so much to achieve in a short time.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

I don't have a facebook, but I checked out your facebook photos David, lead me to your sister Vikki's profile... is she single? she is stunning. I saw the pictures of your family, looks like you grew nice, looked like a happy, good moral family, I like that. not too many families like that. you look like your brother Eric too lol, I didn't really have a family David, my family lasted only 12 years. I was born in 1976, and my family ended in 1988 when my father died. technically since memory starts when you are 2 years old, so I can only recollect 10 years of my family, after my Dad died, it didn't count. brother and sisters weren't close anymore, and we started to grow up on the streets. but when I did have my family, it was sad, fights all the time. I truly never had a good family(because of my mother), that's why I want a wife and kids, I want a family that I never had, one where there are no fights, just peace. But yeah your family looked great, looked like you grew up in the beach area. your sis was wooo, if I had to rate looks, your sister would get an A lol how old is she? Anyways, I got myself a date, friday, will not screw it up. getting a car wash, and haircut. marijuana, gum and condoms will be in pocket as well. I learned my lesson, and will stay and die by the sword of not being cruel to Jenny. I still have to talk to her at work tomorrow at work, I will break the ice, make her laugh, and flirt in the car. she has forgiven me a few hours ago on the phone.

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Mitt Romney strikes again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tB2WJxGgcI he uses his marriage to show that he'll be consistent... see that's why I don't vote anymore the only time I won was when I voted for Clinton in 1996, after that I voted for gore in 2000... he lost. I voted for Kerry in 2004... he lost. I voted for Obama and he conned me. Republicans and even democrats can't kept their word anymore.

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Susie

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

This was a Tom day. Tom did you listen to the podcast?

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Tom

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

@Susie, Yes he was talking about life, and how we have 1 shot at it. what do you want me to reply to that? lol, what he said was good, we do only have 1 life to live. he also said he wants to help. I wrote ontopic in my first comment on this blog about expectations, here's what I wrote: " I never had a year that I expected, all was unpredictable."

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Godfather

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Another reflective podcast. It is easy to lose track of our own progress if we don't take time to seriously reflect upon ourselves and ask ourselves if we have been able to achieve any of our goals this year. That is of course assuming that we set out some goals to begin with. I don't make New Year's resolutions. They don't exist for me. The most important thing for me is to set goals and these goals can range from short term goals and long term goals. I am going to reveal to you guys a really big setback that I had at the beginning of this year: I got fired from my job!!! Now I have to admit I was only working on the job for one month so it was not a long lasting job for me. The reason I was fired was because I did not score high enough on the training exam to be considered a passing score. I was the only person out of the whole training group who did not pass. I was really bummed out and disappointed in myself after that incident. Now that I had no job, I recalled what I heard from some of my friends who still had no luck finding a job: "The economy is still doing bad. There are no jobs available." I refused to just accept that and sit on my ass and do nothing about it. So you know what I did? Just like David Wygant discussed in his podcast, I went out to seek some help. I attended a job bootcamp seminar which was being held close to my residence. After attending the job bootcamp, I got a lot of useful information that I could use and got experience having interviews from companies that were attending the event. It really made a huge impact on me being able to attract employers with my cover letter and resume and I had success in making an overall good impression to the people who were interviewing me. I was able to get to the second or sometimes third interview, but no luck with getting the job offer. I didn't get discouraged from that though. Instead of saying okay and moving on, I wrote back to the companies who did not offer me the job and asked them to give me some feedback about how I did and if they could tell me about any improvements that I could make for my future interviews. This really helped me out since I was able to use the feedback that they provided me and do better in the future with my future interviews. After a lot of hard work and determination, I was able to get a job a couple months later. I was really thrilled and proud of myself for accomplishing this. So to sum it all up, I was able to successfully get a job by seeking help, attending a job bootcamp, learning from my mistakes, and continuously pushing myself to keep trying until I was successful. Now, I got to do the same thing that I did for getting the job as I do for dating: seek help, attend a dating bootcamp (preferably a David Wygant bootcamp due to the good reputation he has with helping people to become successful in dating and building relationships), and to continue conversing with people with the new knowledge and experience that I would have acquired from attending the bootcamp. I see a very similar pattern here!

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Brian

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

What you preached last year was to not rely on a new year to accomplish new goals in dating. Seems like you've changed your tune here a little by emphasizing that we should evaluate where we are in dating at the end of the year.

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sandra hutchens

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

tom way to go....go and have fun...

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Roy (the teacup gentleman)

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Reflecting on my year, I have accomplished more in this year than I have in all my other years put together. Still living with family at 24, I started house hunting last year in June, and finally got my condo in February. The place was a mess when I got it, no appliances and a lot of finish work to be done. Not being much of a handyman I was willing to accept that I needed help to make this place my home, and I hired people to help me (and im not rich, I spent most of my life savings on the renos). By the end of the process, I was painting on my own and have since been able to handle smaller repairs, just from observing the professionals. I now live in a condo that is basically an oversized studio apartment, that fits my style and personality instead of living with grandma and grandpa. That in and of itself has done a lot for my mindset. I made a big move professionally as well, changing jobs from my small town to the city of Boston has really expanded my world in a beautiful way. It has also made me much more grateful for everything I have had in life. Seeing at least one homeless person on a near daily basis reminds me that all of my obstacles in life have been emotional ones. This is what drives me to keep working on myself. My only resolution last year was to not be a virgin at the end of this year. I won't go into details, but that happened. I had four dating experiences this year, one good, one really good, one bad, and one no show. I am proud of the fact that I had those experiences, but it is clear to me that I need to work on this some more. I still have not aquired the one thing in dating I would like to have, and that is a relationship with someone I have a good connection with. The rest of this year I intend to work on myself, by myself. This morning I am getting ready for the one thing that I have been putting off for close to a year. I am going to start taking yoga classes, both as a means of exercise and a way to tap into the amazing energy I have discovered within myself this year. I will continue to practice observations, and connecting with other people. I will continue to read books on self-improvement and masculinity, as this gentleman needs to know a lot more about being a man than being gentle. I have also decided to grow my hair out so that it can be donated. I am doing this to teach my ego once and for all; even if I have long girly looking hair other people will not care. And they will certainly not go out of their way to belittle or demean me unless they are people that do not practice self-love, and they can cause me no harm. What I do know is that this year has been the best year of my life, so far, and I am excited about what the rest of this year has in store for me, as well as what I will experience next year when I have my first warm season in the city. But life is day by day, moment to moment. And this moment calls for me to get my butt off the couch and get to that yoga class. Hope everyone has an awesome day!

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LoveForever

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Adventures In Online Dating I don't know what his reality is: "Hi, You seem really intriguing and I'd love to get to know you more. Seems we have alot in common... besides our faith. So how's this site working for you? Meet any goodies or not? It hasn't really worked for me... I've found that there are mostly older divorced women that have kids already. Then I came upon you! My membership is expiring in a couple days, so write me back at my regular email at . Hope you're having a good weekend," I replied: "Have you tried Craig's List? They should have young women without kids that are still married" lol Before I sent that, he sent a followup reply to a reply I hadn't even sent, yet: "Awww, woman! Just a smile! Well, you probably aren't a member, are you? Is that why all you can do is smile. I know I"m just talking to myself because you won't be able to read this email... but I was the same way too, didn't get a membership and couldn't read any mail. But then I took the leap and I met............YOU! Unfortunately, you did not take the leap yet. Well, if you ever get a membership and read this email... hit me back at capitalrealtyca@cox.net. Its my business email that I always check. My membership expires tomorrow... so I won't be able to read your email on this site after that... Take care, and hope to talk to you someday, fair damsel of OC" I was waiting until his subscription expired before I sent a reply lol so he couldn't read it lol He's not close to my age and on his profile he wrote, "Q:Age is... A:VERY important... so please stop sending me suggestions to date older women with kids. Its getting old..." so I sent: "May I suggest perhaps a date with older women with kids?" lol

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LoveForever

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

oops! lol I accidentally put david's e-mail lol and I didn't see the guy's e-mail inside his 2nd annoying message lol Can the mods please delete it?

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David Wygant

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

@Godfather As usual a very powerful post from you!! I look forward to meeting you at a bootcamp really soon!!

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David Wygant

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

BRian I always tell you to check in and see where you are at on a daily basis. Some people can only do this on a yearly basis or around holidays.

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Theresa

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

tom, i am looking for a second job and I just applied to best buy any chance you can help out with that?

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Tom

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

@Theresa What area do you live? which best buy did you apply for? depends, I only know people at my best buy and in the local areas. I have no business with the other ones. I know at my best buy, they let me interview people, but that's it, I'm one of many managers at my best buy, there are some above me, and some below. I don't work nor have communications with other best buys, so I cannot help with that. but I believe you'll get the job, just act real professional at the interview. what position are you looking for anyways? you'll get the job, don't worry, my help isn't needed.

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theresa

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

Charlottesville, customer service specialist, I just applied today so I dont know yet if I will get an interview. Hopefully I will get the interview. Although this is my second time applying there. Thanks for the response, thought you may have a connection and/or hiring powers.

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Chris D

Thursday, November 10th, 2011

tom is still here trolling? wow

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John

Saturday, April 21st, 2012

I kinda feel the same way as Dan. I want to take a bootcamp but it seems embarrassing to me that I had to spend $2,500 to fix my social anxiety and awkwardness. Don't get me wrong I listen to your podcasts and try to follow what you say, I think what you teach makes a lot of sense but if I where to actually spend the money to do that then I wouldn't want my friends to know I did it. I would learn the skills and just apply them to my daily life and never really need to mention that I paid for a dating coach

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David Wygant

Sunday, April 22nd, 2012

John Do you live your life to impress your friends. Do something like this for yourself! Who cares if they know or not.

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