keeo passion aliveI’ve been getting a lot of emails lately from men. I wanted to share with you their thoughts on something that seems to happen a lot. I know you’re going to get upset when you read this. But men do the same thing.  I’m writing another blog post for men to read about taking care of themselves.

A guy wrote me recently, he said, “David, since I started following you a couple years ago, I can seriously say my dating and life skills have improved considerably.  However, there’s an issue I don’t know how to deal with.  I think it’s an issue that happens to a lot of guys, I don’t really know how to approach it.”

When I start a relationship with a woman, they start taking less care of themselves and let their looks go.  In short, they start gaining weight, and get more out of shape after about six months or so of dating.  I’ve spoken to several of my friends, and most of them have the same problem, but none of us are really sure what to do.  What do you think?”

Let me tell you something right now, ladies… I will write an email back to every guy that asks this and say something to them in this way…

Are you still taking care of yourself?  Are you still going to the gym?  Are you still watching what you eat?  Are you still being romantic with her?  Are you still taking care of her the way she needs to be taken care of? Are you still complimenting her, are you still making her feel pretty?  

I will make sure to tell them what you need.  But…  A lot of women will let themselves go, lose their sex appeal, lose their looks after a short period of time.  As you know, men are visual. We love to appreciate the beauty of who you are as a woman. We love to look at you, we like to feel you, we like to connect with you.  And we like to put you on display so our friends also think you’re super hot. We can’t help it.  We are with you because we thought you were amazing.  We thought you were super sexy, and there’s nothing more disappointing than having you lose your appeal right before our eyes.

Look, I know, when we’re in a relationship, we enjoy the comfort of it.  We like to feel comfortable.  We enjoy being able to let go and just be ourselves. But the death of relationships comes when men and women stop taking care of themselves.  The minute you start getting lazy, the minute you stop making yourself look pretty, the minute you stop working out and doing the things that hooked him in the first place, is the second things will go downhill.

Passion is something that needs to be fueled every single day to keep a relationship hot. A relationship needs to remain hot.  It’s like a fire.  You need to add things to the fire to keep it burning.  The next time you’re in a relationship, if the man isn’t doing the things you need him to do in order to make you feel sexy, you need to open up the communication. Because if you stop taking care of yourself in retaliation, which some women do, then you’re getting involved in a relationship that’s dysfunctional. That’s not healthy.

Whatever you did the first 30 days of relationship, how you dress sexy, how you look great, how you made him feel, are the things you need to repeat every single day. It’s amazing how many couples stop doing all the little things that work in the beginning. Those little things are what fuel the relationship. They can make the relationship a successful one.

The problem is, we stop doing it for no reason. We stop because we get comfortable but the dating should never stop. Compliments, romance, looking great should never stop. Granted walking around in your sweat pants, like I am right now is something we all do. Sweat pants can look sexy, as long as you maintain the same body. There’s no reason to gain weight, there’s no reason to stop taking care of yourself and your partner. Keep it hot, and keep the fire burning.