Somebody wrote me an email the other day, and asked me this question: “David, there’s this woman I’ve been pining for over the years, and she just broke up with a long-term boyfriend. Is now the time to make my move?”

I told him that unless he wants to start playing basketball with her, that this is not the time to make his move. Unless he wants to be “rebound man,” this is not the time to make his move. If he wants to be the guy she with whom she cries, talks and falls in love with for about an hour, then this is time to make his move.

You never want to be “rebound man,” because he never stands a chance of actually getting her. When any relationship ends, you need time to process your feeling, your emotions and the relationship as a whole.

I remember in my 20’s being “rebound man” a few times. I thought it was so cool. I thought, “Timing is everything, and I’m going to make my move right away.”

It was great. We’d get close, then she would freak out and say it was too soon. Then we’d get close again, and she would call and say she was thinking about getting back together with her ex.

You never want to be “rebound man.” You don’t stand a chance. What happens is that as she’s healing and using you as the rebound person, she’s going to meet someone else. She will see you as the person who made her feel better, but will see this new guy as the person who makes her feel great.

So, realize, that unless you want to play basketball that you don’t ever want to be “rebound man.”