Do You Vomit Your Words All Over People? 2 Things I’ve Learned
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I’m sitting here right now listening to some massive word vomiting.
I love eavesdropping, because it’s always funny to listen to other people’s conversation and watch people’s faces.
As a human is vomiting words over another human, the word is vomiter is totally oblivious that the person being vomited all over is not interested.
Here’s what’s interesting, so much of the time we’ve got to figure shit out.
We’re circulating.
We’re thinking about something.
We’re going through something.
So what do we do? We walk into somebody’s house.
We text.
We call somebody up on the phone. Instead of asking them if they’re okay and if they have a few minutes to talk, we have chosen the lucky person to literally vomit our entire fucking words and circular conversation all over them.
We literally walk into a room and vomit our problems all over somebody without ever asking whether or not they have a moment to even listen or a moment to actually give a shit.
I’m guilty of it, we’re all guilty of it. When we have something on our mind we will find the first person we can find to literally go and vomit our issues and problems all over them.
And we expect that person to not only listen, but what we’re looking for is some wisdom of nuggets that we can use so we can feel better, but there’s something that I learned.
Which is this:
1. Ask before you vomit all over somebody.
You wouldn’t walk into a restaurant, eat a meal, go a to public restroom and literally throw up all over somebody if the food did not work well for you. But yet, so many people
Will walk into a room, as I said above, and vomit all their emotions and fears and insecurities and problems upon somebody without ever asking them this one simple question.
2. This simple question:
“Do you have a minute?”
But that’s the biggest lie in the world. It’s more like, “Do you have some time right now for me to share with you something I’m going through because I really need your opinion and your friendship right now?
See how much nicer that sounds than walking into a room and literally vomiting words all over somebody without even asking them if they have a moment right now to even be present for you.
A lot of the time, word vomiters vomit all over somebody and the person is in the middle of doing something else and they can’t really give the attention that they need to. But we never ask, most of us. Most of us just throw up all over somebody because we just feel the need to do that. So think about this.
What works best is asking, “do you have some time right now? Because I can really use your help and guidance. I respect your opinion and your friendship, do you have the time right now for me to really vent, to let go of what’s been bugging me. Because if you don’t, that’s okay as well. I can wait until you have more time later.”
Do you see how much nicer that sounds. You actually prepare somebody for being vomited all over. They don’t just sit there and say to themselves
When will they ever shut up?
Is this tirade ever going to end?
It’s amazing, though, how people don’t do that. And the next time you go and vomit all over somebody, take a look at what they’re doing while you’re word vomiting.
Are they looking at their phone and answering texts? Are they looking at the computer? Are they looking around the room? They’re doing that because they’re telling you
Help, shut up, stop doing this, I’m not emotionally ready to help you right now.
We all need help, we all need to vomit words and feelings and emotions on people, but we need to ask them if they’re in the right mind-set to help because it’s only fair. You don’t like it when you’re vomited all over and they certainly don’t like it when they’re vomited all over. Hope that made my point clear.
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Vonnie
Thursday, January 26th, 2017