So I’ve started getting a lot of emails from you guys lately.

Got a great one from somebody the other day that I really thought was worth posting, especially where there seems to be a common theme.

As you know, I will never post e-mails that you guys send me unless I have your permission. So I e-mailed this guy back and I told him I want everybody to know and understand and learn from your own experience, and he had no problem having me post it.

Here is a shortened version of what he wrote

:

“Hey David, can you explain to me why I can’t get an erection when I’m with my girlfriend? I just need physical stimulation to get it up when we’re intimate. She has a lot more experience than me and she says all her past boyfriends would get hard just at the sight of her body. Plus, my penis is only 5.3 inches. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve probably measured it more than 10 times this week. I really need to get these thoughts out of my head and figure out what’s going on…”

10 times?

You’ve got way too much free time on your hands if you’ve measured your penis more than 10 times this week. 5.3 inches—great, you know the exact amount too. Obviously you have no problem getting hard on your own. You’ve had 10 erections on your own this week? 10 boners that you were able to measure each and every time and you were able to get 5.3 inches?

Who cares how long your penis is? It doesn’t matter. What matters is how you hit the wall. What matters is how you please her, how you grind into her, how you perform in bed. It’s not the size, the way you move your hips, and even more so, the way you perform foreplay. (You can perfect the art of foreplay no matter how long or short your penis is, but that’s another blog for another time—we’ll get there too if you ask nicely 😉 )

Here’s the deal: the reason why you can’t get an erection when you’re with her is because your EGO is freaking out. Look at what you just wrote. “She has a lot more experience than me.” It’s actually bothering you that you’re with a woman that has a lot more experience than you. Your ego can’t handle it. Your male ego is wired to be annoyed by that. Your male ego wants YOU to be the one that has the sexual experience in the relationship, and not than the woman that you’re with. A lot of guys suffer from that, and it’s ok if that’s where you’re at right now. But it can mess you up, and you need to recognize what’s going on in your head and how you should be thinking.

I could care less when I sleep with somebody how much experience they have. In fact, I want them to have a ton of experience, otherwise I’m just going to get bored with them. I want them to know what they’re doing. I want them to bring new things to the table.

I want to learn stuff! It doesn’t matter.

Just be happy that she’s got the experience and she wants to use it all on you.
Now, your girlfriend also needs to grow up a little bit. All her past boyfriends would just get hard at the sight of her body? Great, but you’re not her past boyfriend. So that puts pressure on you. But, more importantly, it shows that she’s got no compassion for you and she doesn’t understand how to get you hard. You need physical stimulation. That’s great.

She should be willing, with all of her sexual experience, to stimulate you. What you need to do in this situation is have this conversation with her. Say, “Hey babe, I don’t get hard at the sight of your body. I think you’re absolutely sexy as hell and I’m really turned on to you. But I need physical stimulation, and it’s got nothing to do with you. So why don’t you take all that great experience and why don’t you show me how hard you can get me?”

Have fun with it. Communicate with her. That is key! I know you’re just intimidated. Your ego is playing with your mind, your ego is definitely, definitely keeping you in check right now and she knows it. You’ve got to really even the playing field out, and you’ve got to embrace her experience and allow her to get you really hard and excited.

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