Do You Like To Meet People In Nightclubs?

It’s Friday guys, Shogo here getting you ready for going out this weekend!

Actually, if you follow my posts. you know that what I write about really applies any time of the day, wherever you are. Daytime, nighttime, weekdays, and weekends alike. It’s all about having a strong, positive mindset, and that’s really the crux of it.

If you guys read the comments to Monday’s blog, our reader Konstantin asked a great question. From time to time I answer questions directly from you guys when I find them relevant. I’m going to answer Konstantin’s question right here for you guys:

Shogo, this is my problem

First, I read all your blogs and I know all tips of natural approach (observing, listening, eye contact) and also I read Always Talk to Strangers (David’s book).

I go to night clubs most, where are all girls from town. I know that place is competitive but I got no choice.

I’ve tried to observe to start conversation but I don’t know with what to start. Ex: I see girls most in groups, they see at me and smile at me. I look that she drinks something, she is with friends and all that. As you said it’s unnatural because they are doing nothing, except having good time with her friends. Give something to start with Shogo, as I said before I tried, but conversation was like from script cause I not found anything to start with and not to appear as fool. Thanks.

Konstantin,

You have “no choice” but to go to nightclubs? What’s that about? You always have a choice with what you do with your time. Always. What you decide to do with your time is your choice. You can do whatever you want, and as long as you’re out of the house, women will be there.

So ask yourself, do you enjoy going to nightclubs?

If yes, why? Write down the reasons. Do you like the music? Do you like the people? Are you entertained when you see how people there interact? How people dress? Do you like to dance? Do you enjoy watching other people dance and make fools of themselves? Write down all the things you like about going out to nightclubs. These are all going to be your conversation starters.
When you’re out, you see girls who are smiling at you. That’s great! If a girl is smiling at you, you need to go over there and talk to her. It doesn’t matter that she’s in a group. Walk over with a big smile, be open, and introduce yourself.

If you need something to start with, observe everything around you.

She’s drinking something? She’s with her friends? That’s not an observation. Every woman is drinking something and every woman is with her friends.

Be creative. Point out the freaky-looking guy in the corner and how he’s dressed. Comment on how bad or good you think the music is. Make a comment on other people dancing–notice whether it’s good dancing or bad dancing. If it’s really bad dancing, poke fun at it. Use whatever is around you. People in clubs are running around all night acting like fools. There’s always something to discuss. Tell her you dig her outfit (if you actually do dig her outfit). If you don’t like her outfit but you think it’s interesting or weird, tell her why you think it’s interesting or weird.

So here’s the most important part of your question: YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING YOU WILL APPEAR FOOLISH.

Many women you approach in a nightclub will be a little uncomfortable at first too. Just like you, she’s hesitant because she does not know what to expect from you yet. You need to be the first one to be comfortable in the conversation. You need to be comfortable with yourself first.

If you think you’re going to appear foolish, you will appear foolish every time. Or you will never approach. I never, ever believe that about myself when I’m out. I’m out to meet new people, and every conversation that I have is going to be an amazing conversation. That’s all I think about. Period.

Start off by making observations, and before you know it, you won’t even need that anymore. When I go out to bars at night, usually the only thing I say to start a conversation is walk up with a big smile and say, “Hi, my name is Shogo.” That’s it. Guys who have been out with me know that that’s all I ever do. Or I say with a big smile, “You guys look like you’re having fun, mind if we join your conversation?” Or, “You look bored as hell, I’m here to entertain you.” That’s it. Simple.