do you like confrontationI was once in a relationship with a woman who loved confrontation. In fact, everything was about confrontation for her. I don’t think she was aware she loved that dynamic so much. I could bring up something that was bothering me, or someone that was bugging me. She’d listen for a second, then she’d start ranting about how “All you care about is yourself, and you’re always complaining!”

It was exhausting.

It was the type of relationship I didn’t feel hurt or angry. I didn’t want to talk to the person anymore. I didn’t want to bring things up, so I would suppress everything to avoid the confrontation. It’s not enjoyable and it’s not healthy. It’s not a healthy dynamic because it eats you up inside. You don’t have the friendship you need with a partner. You always feel like you’re going to say the wrong thing!

It is unhealthy and there is no reason for it. You’re with somebody that always has to be right or they’ll put you in your place. If someone comes to you expressing how they feel about something, even if you’re having a disagreement, allow them to express without having a comeback. Just allow them to express.

Even if you want to tell them all of the things that they’ve done wrong or the things that they do, just hold back a day.
By holding back, you start creating an open space of communication. They could come to you and have a conversation. You need to replace confrontation with communication in your relationships.

Allow your partner to open up. You’ll see how things change and you open a line of communication you may not have had before. If you’re with someone who constantly wants to fight, you need to put them in their place. Tell them your relationship can’t continue as it is. There’s no relationship without proper communication. See how they react. Often they have things within them they need to bring to the surface, so let them know you’re ready to listen.

It can transform your relationship. That said, if they’re determined to fight with you no matter what, then you’re probably better off without them!