Imaginary girlfriendA friend of mine the other day hooked up with an old high school love. He was in town for a few days, apparently on business, and he reached out to her on Facebook. They were lovers when they were 17 years old, if you can call that being lovers. It’s more like just humping each other, and feeling each other’s body. How deep a relationship can 17 year olds have?

For some reason, he thought it’d be a great idea to reconnect with her. He said it would be a lot of fun, so she thought, “Why not?”

It’d be fun to go see someone she was friends with back in high school. What happens next is one of the strangest things you’ll ever hear, and it’s something a lot of guys do. You see, lots of guys have fantasies about women. They have fantasies about the women they want to be with.

They feel like they know someone through the power of Facebook, and they create a fantasy romance with her in their head. I’ve seen it at every boot camp I’ve ever done. A guy will look at a woman and say, “She’s exactly my type. She’s perfect for me. I’ve never met anyone like her before.”

Men crave fantasies just like women do, but they do it in a really weird way!

I’m going to read you a text he sent to her in a moment. She told him several times she wasn’t interested in a relationship with him. She told him several times after their reconnection dinner that she had other plans. But he kept pushing it. He kept asking, “What are you afraid of? It’s not every day an old friend from Jersey comes to town.”

He pushed and pushed her, and she kept telling him nicely that she wasn’t interested but he kept going and going. Eventually he sent her this text… “Hey sophisticated lady. Thanks again for taking time out of your craziness and spending some of it with me. As awkward as the two hours we spent together was, it was cool if not what I expected.”

You see that?

Not what he expected?

He expected her to be still in love with him. He must have watched some cheesy John Hughes movie from the 80’s that somehow or another made it seem like he was going to reconnect with his high school sweetheart.

Then he decided he knows her again after an awkward two-hour lunch where there was zero chemistry at all. He probably didn’t even realize there wasn’t any chemistry, because men never realize there’s no chemistry. If you watch any of the dating shows on the television like “Blind Date” you’ll see it. A guy will be with a woman he has no chemistry with and he’ll still try to get her in the hot tub because he hasn’t read one sign at all!

That’s why I created “The Girlfriend Manual” and “7 Second Seduction” to teach men what chemistry is all about. So, anyway, this guy’s text continued, “Please don’t find this weird or corny, but I have something to say that reflected on this weekend and the events that transpired before. I’d like to share my thoughts with you.”

What events before?

They haven’t seen each other in 28 years. There were no events before, and nothing transpired over the weekend apart from a really awkward two-hour dinner. He went on, “Can I have your email so I can articulate my thoughts better. If you’re interested I promise it will be worth the read.”

So my friend texts him back saying, “Hey, I don’t think you’re getting what I said earlier. I don’t know what you expected regarding seeing me. I don’t have feelings for you. I don’t think about you other than as an acquaintance at high school, and that was 28 years ago. I’m glad we had time to see one another, but that’s all it was for me.

I told you before we met I had plans for the week, and probably wasn’t available to spend more than Friday eve with you. While I appreciate you wanting to explain your feelings and thoughts, I didn’t think there was anything left to discuss. Glad you’re home, and it was nice to see you after so many years. Take care.”

He still wouldn’t take it. He didn’t believe it, because he had such a fantasy about his old high school fling that he couldn’t take no for an answer. He thought she was protecting herself. He thought she was being guarded, so this is what he wrote to her…

“L.A. was just one stop for a man on a mission. I settled once, and will not do it again. Thank you, Amy. When you finally get through your shit, take care of yourself. Stop thinking so much and it’ll all work out. My wish for you is that you can one day stop running, walk again, and let your heart be your compass. It was great to see you, no hard feelings.”

Her heart be the compass?

I know this woman, I know who she is, I know what she’s all about. Her heart is wide open, her compass is pointing towards a man that’s equally as evolved as her, but yet this man is so ego-based and craving this entire fantasy about her, he could not take no for an answer at all. It’s crazy when guys do this, it really is. It’s absolutely nuts. You have to listen to women. Listen!

She wrote one more text to him to try to kill off the conversation completely…

“I tried to be nice and tell you point blank that after 28 years as strangers, that I have zero interest in you romantically. I might have taken the time to become your platonic friend, but you’re just too toxic. I’ve done a lot of work on myself in the past four years, and got rid of the toxic people in my life. For whatever reason, you cannot accept what I’m saying and you keep coming back with more to say about me. This is your shit, not mine. Not to mention you’re analyzing me and telling me, what I should or shouldn’t do in my life. You don’t know me, leave me alone, take care.”

Have You Had A Fantasy Relationship Like This Guys?

Listen to what women are saying guys.

This guy is projecting. He’s creating a toxic fantasy. He doesn’t know this woman, and she was being nice enough to grant him dinner that proved there was no chemistry between the two of them, but STILL he kept chasing her like an old lover. They’re total strangers after 28 years. I’ve seen men do this so many times. I’ve seen men try to connect with women and try to create something that isn’t there. It’s toxic in so many ways.

You can’t create a fantasy. You have to see things for exactly what they are. Don’t create a fantasy because all that happens is you miss all the signs. A woman is being point blank with you, and you still won’t see it. Women do this too so I’m no pointing fingers. Here’s the key to this entire post…

Listen to what people have to say. They’re not living in fear, you’re just not listening because you’ve created a story, a romance that doesn’t exist. We’ve all done it, but you need to stop doing it. Look how black and white she was, yet he still came after her like a crazed man, obsessed with her, obsessed with what she looks like. He didn’t listen to her at all. She’s a beautiful, hot woman, so I could see why he would go absolutely crazy for her.

But wouldn’t you prefer a beautiful, sexy, passionate woman like her to actually want to like you?

Do you have that much of a lack of abundant mind set?

Learn from this lesson. Practice abundance and realize that there are so many beautiful women (and men for you ladies who are reading this) that really want to share with you, but make it real and don’t try to project your shit. Don’t try to project your fantasy on somebody else. Listen what people have to say. More relationships would work, there would be less divorce in the world, and there would be so much more love to go around.