1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.
I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.
Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.
So you're saying I should put down my magic cards and pink furry hat? Hahaha
Really though, I find one night stands to be boring. I think a lot of the reason guys want lots of one night stands/to get good with women has nothing to do with the women or sex, but rather to feel better about themselves by looking cooler to other guys.
Funny, I am in the situation of a recent divorce from a long marriage. I'm doing the internet dating thing, and just tried exactly this "being honest" technique for this weekend, on a lady I have been corresponding with. It was a freaking disaster. I got a dirty letter after speaking to her, telling me that, all I wanted was a "sex slave", "I was a shallow jackass", and never to contact her again! It bombed.
Hey david, great video, im gona be honest be real with women, if your a virgin though should u be honest or what, i dont want to look like an aidiot or have her laugh at me, any advice would be great, thanks :)
Bob,
The online approach is purely a numbers game. You'll be surprised by how many women are online for one night stands. You'll also get many responses like you did.
Keep in mind that when a woman agrees to a one night stand, that is probably going to be it and she will stick to the original timeframe. I've found myself genuinely liking several one night stands, but in their minds, I was only going to be for one night. Period.
Bob, did you say something more along the lines of, "Hey I only wanna do you. Hope that's alright," or "I think you're an amazing woman, and I'd love to spend time getting to know you, but I'm really not looking for anything serious right now,"? Somehow I feel like the second would get a better reaction than the first, even if they mean the same thing.
Good grief Collin, I'm in my 40s. I have a little more sense than that. Do you read my posts? I am telling you. 90% of women, will not accept being told, that you are "not interested in a relationship" right now, but you would be willing to "get to know them" and "spend some time with them". They are smart enough to figure out that all you want is a piece of ass from them. Now, one night stand pickups, and party girls, are a different matter. But, they do get mundane and unfulfilling after a while. David is a great guy, inspirational, and has valuable tips on dating, and lifestyle, but he is not correct in a lot of his beliefs about women...He is afterall, only human, and trying to make a living. If you approach enough women, any technique will work.
Honestly, I'm not about One Night Stands. My time is too precious for that, because I don't wanna waste a day of my life on someone who was just not that good. When I choose a woman to have sex with, I choose a high-quality woman and I certainly want to fuck her more than once - if she's good in bed. So I see One-Night Stands more as a "screening phase" where I can pull the trigger after the first night in case she didn't match up to what I expected.
My bad Bob. My gut reaction when I hear a guy say he was honest with a girl is to cringe because the guys I normally hear that from are the kind of guy who thinks, "I really just want to fuck you" is the best way to be honest with a woman.
Perhaps I can add a bit of female perspective to this discussion. I am a single woman. Although I'd like to find a long-term partner, there are occasions right now when I am open to a casual encounter-and no I don't consider myself to be a "party girl." There are just moments when I want to explore myself more sexually or when I feel the desire for some physical closeness.
If I meet a guy I find attractive and there is some chemistry there, I may be open to a one night stand if the guy is respectful, considerate, and most importantly, if he really gives me the impression he wants to show me a good time, not just get laid. Experience has taught me that this can often be anticipated. The way a guy treats me can tell a lot about the way he is going to be in the bedroom. The approach David demonstrated is tactful, open, honest, and shows a genuine interest in the woman; it gives the impression he has a genuine interest in pleasing her intimately, as opposed to just wanting to get laid. This approach would put me at ease and I would likely respond to it in a positive way if I were attracted to the guy. A guy who is too blunt in his advances or who gives me no indication he is interested in pleasing me is usually not worth my time, I figure he is just looking to get off.
Bob, I don't know what approach you used, but maybe the woman's reaction had nothing to do with you. Some women are simply not open to casual sex, or they have a negative opinion of men in general who are looking for sex. I can tell you first-hand that not all woman are like that. Maybe the woman you approached had her own issues to deal with, who knows. In any case, even if you use a good approach, it is never guaranteed to work all of the time, simply because not all people you approach will be attracted or interested in the same thing as you. Just move on to the next.
I tried that approach before pretty much just as David described. So have others. In Korea, it doesn't work very often.
When I tried it, she said, "Oh my god! I must be giving off an 'I'm a slut vibe.'" And I never heard from her again.
Women around here are under a lot of social pressure. They have reputations to protect and curfews to keep. In fact single women in their late 30s have curfews, if they still live with their parents (so many do). If her curfew or reputation are in danger of getting busted up, game over.
(sigh) I wish I could say that women all over the world are as open minded and comfortable with themselves as those in America, but I'm afraid that's just not true.
I came across a concept, which says women like to think of encounters, casual or serious, as serendiptious moments.
For example, she may like to think to herself 'the one night stand just happened'. Many women may have hang ups with casual sex, and in this kind of approach, she has to explicitly make a decision. She doesnot have the justification that 'one thing led to another, and it just happened'.
David,
I loved the video and your bedhead hair-do! LOL! :) I have used this honest approach, and it hasn't worked for me! I think it scares some women away.
Women want to do it. Period. I would almost go as far to say that they enjoy more than guys, but hey I'm not a woman.... This technique works online. But you have to be 100% with it.
If your profile says, "looking for woman with great personality, I like kids, and want a woman I can settle down with." And then 10 PM's later your sayn hey I respect you but I aint lookin for a relationship, YA she's gonna freak out.
David, I'd have to disagree with you. As a woman myself, I can say that would absolutely not work on me, or anyone I know for that matter. While the basic idea about being open and honest with the woman is great, the way you do it in the video is too blunt. This approach doesn't work for a lot of guys because they come off as perverted.
Women are more likely to sleep with with a "well-rounded" man, someone who is open and honest but also shows that he's capable of emotion.
You need to engage in a conversation with her, listen to what she has to say, and after a while say something along the lines of "I think you're an amazing person, you're absolutely gorgeous, and I would love to get to know you better but I have to be honest with you; I'm not really looking for anything serious right now." You can even throw in that you just got out of a (serious) relationship to get pity or sympathy from her. This statement shows that you respect her as a person, think she's beautiful, and are capable of feeling something, without coming off as a creep.
This is a more gentle approach that's worked numerous times and isn't so blunt that it will scare her away.
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Collin
Friday, August 27th, 2010
Bob
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james
Saturday, August 28th, 2010
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Collin
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Bob
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