There’s a law that might be passed allowing people to use their cell phones on airplanes.

Can you imagine if they actually pass that law? Then, for your entire flight, you’d have to sit next to a broadcaster.

I’m not talking about John Madden and Al Michaels here, and I’m not talking about Vin Scully. I’m talking about that obnoxious person sitting next to you at an outdoor café who is speaking so loudly that you can hear everything they say. And they want you to hear everything that they say.

The other day Rey and I were sitting outside Whole Foods and we basically spent the entire time listening to this woman’s conversation about buying a house. “I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD BUY THE HOUSE, I’M NOT QUITE SURE. I’M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD APPROVE THE DEAL…”

Everything she said was basically yelled into the phone and into our ears. She wanted the world to hear what she had to say.

That’s the worst thing in the world. Cell phones are annoying to begin with, but it’s even worst when you have to listen to one end of a crazy conversation that isn’t even remotely interesting. There was nothing interesting about this woman and her conversation whatsoever.

So what do you do to get rid of a broadcaster? You out-broadcast them!

So get on your cell phone. Even if you aren’t talking to anybody, just pick up your phone for the hell of it. Lift it up to your ear and just start out-broadcasting her!

Literally mimic her: “YOU KNOW, IT’S FUNNY, I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD DO THAT DEAL…” Just start talking as loud as you can and out-broadcast her.

At the same time, look at her and smile. She will think you’re smiling because of something the person on the other end of your phone said, but you’re just fucking with her!

Some more fun with cell phones: do you ever get cut off in traffic, or someone on the road just pisses you off? Get on your cell phone and move into eye contact distance with the person who pissed you off. While you’re holding your phone to your ear, make direct eye contact with the person, smile, and mouth, “FUCK YOU.”

They will think you’re talking to someone on the phone but in reality you just basically flipped them off in a very cool and calm way.

What does this all have to do with dating? Absolutely nothing! Not every blog I write has to be relevant to dating! Maybe once in a while I just want to write about something different. Today is different.

What do you guys do when you overhear a broadcaster?