Do any of you believe in the replacement theory when you’re dating someone? Have you ever been in a relationship that is just not what you want it to be?

Maybe there isn’t a great sexual connection. Maybe you have an amazing sexual connection, but the emotional connection is lacking.

Maybe it’s one of those relationships of convenience. You know, one in which you spend weekends together but you don’t see each other during the week. Maybe it’s a long distance relationship, and you like that because it gives you time to work on the replacement theory.

The replacement theory does not work. I hope by now you have figured out what the replacement theory is. If not, let me define it for you.

The replacement theory is when you’re involved in a relationship and you’re looking for another one, but you don’t want to leave your current relationship while you’re looking. You want to be sure you will find someone better before you leave the person you’re currently dating.

Looking For Rebound Guy

This never works. Your energy is all wrong when you do that.

First of all, it’s not fair to the person with whom you’re currently in a relationship. To be blunt, it’s actually pretty sleazy because you’re not being honest with that person. You’re looking someone in the eyes and saying “I love you” to that person you are with on the weekends, while you are going out during the week looking for someone to replace them.

So the replacement theory doesn’t work because you’re creating an energy that’s bad both in your relationship and when you’re out looking for another one. You’re actually very desperate such that whenever you meet somebody new you think to yourself, “God I really hope that this person is somebody that could be my next girlfriend (or next boyfriend). I really hope it works out with this person.”

When you have this mindset and this kind of energy, you actually forecast the whole relationship at the time you meet someone and first exchange phone numbers. There’s thus a very desperate energy about people who are in the replacement theory mode because they is an air of neediness around them.

When you are in the replacement theory mode, you’re so afraid to be alone that you feel a need to constantly be with someone. So you climb from one person to the next, and you end up meeting the same person over and over again. Sting had it perfectly right when he wrote that song about if you love someone then set them free.

So if you have used the replacement theory, then you need to be honest with yourself and you need to be honest with the woman (or man) you’re with. You need to realize that the replacement theory does not work, and let that person go.

Go out and embrace who you are. Learn about yourself all over again. Be single. Be open. Learn things that you never before learned.

Most importantly, develop an abundance mindset. People who practice the replacement theory do not have an abundance mindset at all. All you think about over and over again is the lack of things.

If you actually had an abundance mindset, you would never practice the replacement theory in your life. You’d realize that there are plenty of amazing people in the world to be with and date.

It’s the same with jobs. How many of you want a new job, and yet you keep a job you hate until you find that new job? Then when you find a new job this way, the new job is only a little bit better than the old job. Why? It’s because you are living the replacement theory in your work.

Now I know right now that a lot of you are saying, “David, that doesn’t make sense. I need to pay my bills, so I have to do it that way.” You do have to pay your bills, but here is what you need to realize. You can keep your old job while you look for a new one, but realize that the longer you keep the old job the longer your search for a great new job will be.

We can talk more about jobs another day. For now, I want to leave you with a question: How many of you use the replacement theory in your dating life?