Do men cuddleDo men cuddle?

Funny as it sounds, women ask this question me all the time. Do men cuddle women they’re committed to? In fact, do men cuddle at all?

Here’s an email I had recently. It’s from a woman who wanted to know how to work out whether the guy she’s dating has true feelings for her…

“Hi David,

I’ve been seeing a guy from work for a little bit. We were friends for a month, and then we started hooking up after work for drinks. People at work kept saying he was totally into me. I could see it too by the way he looked at me. I wasn’t sure whether to date someone I work with, but I’m going with it to see where it goes.

My question is, how can I tell if he has real feelings for me? I’ve never really done the dating thing before, so I’m not sure. This past Saturday we spent the night together after going out with friends. He wasn’t feeling well, but kept me just talking and cuddling in bed.

I did offer to leave as he wasn’t well but he said he didn’t want me to go. See it’s the talking and cuddling that go me. If he’d just had sex with me and then gone cold, I know where I stand and it won’t bother me. But if he’s going to cuddle and talk to me, I’m going to get hooked.

My question really is, do men cuddle women for hours if they’re only interested in having sex with them? Or is it a sign he wants more? I’m confused.”

David Says…

Here’s where communication and dating go hand in hand. We’re so afraid to say what we want, and so afraid to hear the truth from partners. You have two people who are wondering what the other thinks and feels. But neither one asks the question. We’d rather play the speculation game!

Speculating is a bad idea. You’re never going to get the right answers from other people. Sure you’ll get opinion and hearsay, but you don’t get the real answer. You’re scared of the real answer, but you need it so you don’t chase something that isn’t there. Don’t keep going under the illusion things are the way you BELIEVE they are. Find out the way they REALLY are.

You want to know if he has feelings for you. Ask him. For me, when a man cuddles you it’s a sign they want more. I can’t cuddle someone I’m not into, so yeah, it sounds like he likes you. But the only way to know for sure is to ask. Say, “Hey, my cuddler. Where is this going?”

To me it sounds as if you’re getting closer to him, but find out what he wants for sure, and stop the schoolyard guessing and gossiping we all seem to do when it comes to finding out the truth about dating.

So, now you know what it means (or potentially means) when a man cuddles you. How would you like to know the answer to every other question you’ve ever asked about men in the past? How would you like to know exactly what goes on inside a man’s mind, and what makes him desire a woman?

Then check out “What Men Desire”