Dear David – When Should I Move In With Him?
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I had a great Dear David email the other day which ties in perfectly with a video I was going to share with you today anyway. It deals with the old age relationship issue of knowing when to move in with someone. When’s the right time to move in together, and should you move in with him at all? Anyway, here’s the email I recieved from a lady named Zoe, and my response below…
“Dear David,
First I want to say thank you so much. When I first read your stuff I was scared of men and relationships and didn’t value myself. I worked through your What Men Desire program and a few months down the line I’m dating this incredible man.
I don’t think I’ve had this much chemistry with anyone before. He’s told me he loves me and he wants us to make a real go of it. The other day we were chatting and the issue of him moving some stuff in came up. Suddenly I got a little worried. I don’t want to ruin things by moving to fast. When is the right time to move in with him? Is there such thing as the right time?
I don’t want him to feel like I’m rejecting him, but I don’t want to screw things up by jumping in too fast. What’s the best thing to do?”
David Says…
Thanks for the kind words about What Men Desire.
It’s a program I know has helped women make some real changes in their lives and I’m proud you’re another success story. As far as when to move in together, you’re right to be cautious. Rushing into something like this can be a big mistake. Most people will tell you a relationship isn’t really tested until you try to live with your partner.
Here’s the way I generally suggest people test the water when it comes to moving in together.
1. Do a trial run – Rent a place for a few weeks and try it out. Don’t move into his or him into yours. Nobody should have the “home field advantage.”
2. Explore his habits – Your trial run is the time you want to look out for any bad habits. Does he pick his nose while you watch television? Does he eat food that stinks the place out and you hate it? Is he lazy?
This is the time to start thinking ahead and asking yourself whether you could cope with all these things long term. They may seem like silly little things but could you spend the next 40 years living with them.
3. Take your time – Don’t put a time limit on things. Don’t rush. The less pressure you put on yourself the better. Too many relationships crumble under pressure. There’s no rush to the ring and there’s no rush to the alter. Enjoy the process of getting to know each other. Enjoy learning about how the other one likes to live. That way you’ll both be complely authentic, and that’s really the only way to know whether you’re truly compatible.
Check out the video below and I’ll explain this process in more detail!
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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