dating for widowsI had this amazing “Dear David” email the other day, and I had to share it with you. It’s so inspiring and I think you’ll all benefit from reading it. The second I saw it I wanted to reach out and give her a big cyber hug. Anyway, here’s what she had to say followed by my response…

“Dear David,

I’m a 60-years-young widow. I’ve been out the dating arena for 30 years now, so I can’t even begin to tell you everything I need to learn. The whole thing seems like a different language to me. My goal is to gather the confidence to take that first step and start getting out there. Once I’ve done that I can move on to the second step, and then the third.

I’m much too young to spend the rest of my days on my own. I want to be unstoppable in my search for a fun, fulfilling, and loving relationship with a great guy. I’m looking forward to reading and learning from your dating advice. I’m more than up for the challenge.

Yours

Joyce”

I was so happy when I read this email. I love her honesty and positive outlook. She realizes there’s a first, second, and third step. She doesn’t expect to learn everything at once, and she doesn’t expect to go from single to loving relationship in 24 hours. So many people want to go from 0-60 instantly, and it doesn’t happen like that. The key here for Joyce is to take that first difficult step. The first step is the hardest and the one that feels the most “dangerous.”

The first step is just about becoming comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. It’s about opening up to men. It’s about learning how to flirt, smile, and communicate with men again. You have to learn to face rejection and not let it worry you. It means nothing so you should never take it personally. Just get yourself out there and try things out. Go on a few dates and see what happens. Enjoy the moment.

The next step is to figure out what you want in a man and in a relationship. That’s why it’s important you start dating so you can start to see what you find attractive and what you don’t. What qualities are you looking for in a man? What kind of relationship do you want? You can’t attract the right kind of men into your life when you’re not certain what “right” actually means to you. This is a really important step, so no skirting around it.

What about the third and final step? 

You’ve started dating. You now have a better idea what you’re looking for. Now you need to take your time and not jump into anything too quickly. Right now you’re like a child in a toyshop. It’s all exciting and you want to play with everything you see. You’re discovering how it feels to be free and single again. It’s an amazing process Joyce. Try to enjoy it.

We should all go through this process, but many aren’t brave enough to jump in. What we can all learn from Joyce is that dating is a step-by-step process. Life is like that from the beginning. You have to crawl before you can walk, and walk before you can run. That’s what Joyce is doing right now. She’s learning to crawl, but with her attitude, it won’t be long before she’s running I know it.

I’m extremely proud of you Joyce. Some people hit 60 and decide they’re too old for love. She knows she has so much life inside her to live. She has so much love to share with the world, and so many beautiful memories to create. I want Joyce to inspire us all today. Take one step at a time, but make sure you start stepping!