In our lifetime, we tend to run into, well, the difficult person from time to time.

It could just be somebody who’s nasty at a traffic light. Who flips you off and gives you the finger.

It could be somebody who’s in line in front of you in Starbuck’s, and they’re just a nasty person.

It could be somebody you do business with, who likes to just blame everybody for their issues. I get a lot of that.

I’ve been in the people business for a long time. Even before I was doing what I do now, I was in the bar business in my 20s. I was in the real estate business. I’ve been dealing with the public for my entire work life.

So I’ve dealt with the blamers.

I’ve dealt with the people who accuse you of things.

I’ve dealt with the refunders of programs because they claim they don’t work, and they just blame you for that.

I’ve been dealing with difficult people for so long that sometimes I just want to take a break for a day or two. And really just tune them out.

But, I’ve taken a different approach with difficult people.

An approach that you probably won’t even think of doing.

Instead of a difficult obnoxious person, battling with them (as we usually do)…

Because you see when someone’s difficult we like to just go into battle mode.

Literally. We put up out fists, and we go for it. We get into a verbal sparring war.

We get angry. We get all upset.

We take things personally.

In turn, I’ve decided to do something different, and I’ve been doing it for years. And it works great with difficult people.

You know what I do?

I look at it as a cry for help.

You see, somebody who’s being difficult is frustrated.

And most people, when they get difficult, other people will just go and get into a battle with them. It’s what they’re used to. What they’re not used to is being killed with kindness at that moment. They’re not used to having compassion. They’re not used to somebody actually trying to help them.

I remember a couple months ago, somebody bought one of my programs, listened to it over and over again, but just couldn’t seem to get it right.

They then decided to blame me for their life. Blame me for the fact that there’s not enough men in their life. Blame me for the fact that, when they go out and smile at men, they feel like people are looking and laughing at them.

They get all obnoxious in the e-mail.

They ask for a refund on the program. The program was $47, so either way I could care less. Most people at that moment would have just refunded their money and sent them back into the universe. Let another person deal with them. Let them continue to blame other people for their life that’s not working out.

But I decided to do something different, and I’ve been doing this for years. I answered their e-mail personally. I answered it with compassion. I answered it with wanting to help them. I told them that the $47 will not change either one of our lives. So I could literally throw them back into the world, and have them go buy another dating related program that most likely would not work for them.

I asked them questions why they felt this way. How long they’ve been feeling this way. And how it must be frustrating to feel this way. I opened up a dialogue based on compassion. And do you know what happened?

That person actually reached back out and thanked me for that.

And that’s really the reason I’m writing this right now, to tell you about this experience.

They ended up buying an hour of coaching, and we ended up going through all of the issues that have been plaguing them. You see, that person that was so difficult was actually crying out for help. And I gave it to them. A couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from them thanking me for everything that I’ve done for them, and they sent me a picture of the new man that they were dating.

Here’s a snippet of the e-mail:

David,

Thank you.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for not kicking me to the curb.

And thank you for taking the time to get to know me and help me through the blame game I’ve been doing my whole life.

Just wanted to send you this picture of the man that I met recently. And just wanted to tell you, I appreciate you.

— Lisa.

I want you to read that again. I want you to think about it. The next time you’re dealing with somebody difficult, be the person that steps up for them and helps them during the cry for help.