Dating A Dangler
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Long holiday weekend, great Jets game so today I thought we would start the week with some dating humor.
I am sure all of you are back in the office wishing it was Black Friday all over again. But today I hear is cyber monday followed by some kind of tuesday.
It seems that we now name all the days before Christmas. It used to be the 12 days of Christmas now its some named day and were not even close yet. Back to the dating world and today we are all about the clueless people who have no idea that they are a dangler.
Have you ever had a dangler?
Do you know what a dangler is? Are you self-aware enough to know when you have a dangler?
The other day I was out to lunch with some people. A guy sitting across from me had a dangler. It was pretty distracting.
Now there are many forms of danglers. A dangler can be a piece of food that’s stuck on the tip pf somebody’s lip. You know, as they’re eating and talking, that little piece of food just seems to swing back and forth on their lip? It’s like its winking directly back at you.
So you wait for them to wipe their lip. You think to yourself, How could they not know they’ve got this huge dangler? Can’t they feel that there’s something dangling right from their lip? Pretty soon you get fixated , sitting there staring at the dangler while you’re trying to concentrate on the conversation. You think to yourself, How much longer am I going to sit here without telling them that they’ve got a dangler?
There’s other danglers too. There’s the booger dangler that flaps in and out of your nose every time you breathe. Don’t they know that there’s a little booger flapping in and out of their nose? I mean, can’t they feel it going in and out, in and out? Literally at each breath, the dangler sucks in, the dangler blows out, sucks in, blows out.
Yeah, it’s funny. We’re all human. We all have plenty of little danglers of our own from time to time.
But the question is: How truthful are we with people around us who have danglers? Do we say something? Do we say nothing? It is appropriate social etiquette to go up to somebody across from you and say, “Hey by the way, a little piece of spinach artichoke dip is dangling from your lip.” “Hey, you got a little booger flapping in and out of your nose, and I just thought you’d like to be aware of that.”
There are no clear-cut rules for whether you’re supposed to do it on a date. But then again, if that person goes to the bathroom and they found out they had a dangler there, they start thinking to themselves, What the…? Why didn’t my date tell me I had a dangler?
The same rules are in effect for food stuck in the teeth. Do you tell someone that they’re front tooth looks like it’s missing because it’s covered in spinach? Or do you just sit there and just pretend to ignore it the whole time so that by the time they get home and look in the mirror, they see that they have a grill full of spinach.
I say we tell people about danglers. Every time. Maybe we should make a dangler appreciation day where we go around and tell everybody about the dangler that they have, regardless of whether we know that person or not.
Because I would certainly appreciate it if someone told me I had a dangler blowing in and out of my nose or dancing on my lip.
Nervous around beautiful women? Download my 10 best “no-fail” openers that WILL have her handing you her phone number tonight.
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