long distance loveThis is an interesting topic, and one I haven’t covered in quite a while. Are long distance relationships worthwhile, and can they work?

Now I know you probably want a clear-cut definitive answer, but in my opinion there isn’t one here. It’s completely down to the two people in the relationship. Can long distance relationships work? 100% if the two of you are well aligned and committed to making it work.

Here are what I believe are the most important keys to making a relationship separated by miles work…

1. Manage and fulfil your expectations – Be very clear when you start seeing each other how often you expect to meet up and spend time together. If you’re fine with seeing each other once a month that’s fine. Just make sure you both agree on the time between visits. If you don’t mind seeing him once a month, but he wants to be with you every weekend, there are going to be conflicts. Be certain you’re both on the same page.

2. There are no illusions – Don’t go into a long distance relationship believing you can make this guy move to your town. Sure, if things work out and one of you is prepared to relocate that’s fine. Just don’t go in with the intentions of making him uproot.

If you have it in your head you’re going to sell your home-town to a man who’s told you he’s happy where he lives, you’re setting yourself up for a fall. Don’t get involved if you can’t stand the thought you may always live far away from him. You want a relationship based on reality, not some long-term plan you’ve set for him.

3. Take it in turns to visit each other’s home ground – This one is so important. I knew a guy who was seeing a woman a couple of hundred miles from him. Every time they met up it was him travelling to her house. She wouldn’t travel to his. Eventually he started to resent it and ended the relationship.

It’s not fair to expect the guy to do all the running. Doesn’t matter whether it’s every other time, or every other couple of times you meet, but show willing by going and seeing where he lives. It’s a great way to see what he’s all about and how he lives his life away from you.

4. Keep the contact regular – A few years ago this was tricky, but today there’s no excuse for not having some kind of daily contact if you want. Text, email, Skype, phone, and video calling gives you a ton of ways to catch up together during the week.

5. Be completely honest about what you want – Are you going to commit to this person 100% or are you going to see other guys as well? Make sure he’s honest about the same thing. I know some people that have long distance relationships where they see other people too, and they do work, but it’s not for everyone. Personally I wouldn’t want that.

The thing with long distance romances is not to expect too much from them. They’re not easy to maintain, so you need to accept it might not work out. As long as you go in with your eyes open, you could enjoy a nice little romance with someone.