I want you to do this for me the next time you see a woman. I want you to walk over to her, talk to her for 10 minutes, and get to know her a little bit. Then look at her and say, “You know, I’m really attracted to you. I want to get to know you more.”

Then as she looks at you and smiles, I want you to say this, “Give me your number. I’m going to put your number in my phone right now, so for the next two weeks we can slowly torture each other with neurotic text messages. It’ll be amazing trying to figure out when we’re going to see each other won’t it?”

In all seriousness guys, isn’t it strange how the second you exchange numbers with a woman, all hell seems to break loose?

You meet her, you’re attracted to each other, you swap numbers, and then the games begin. You text, she texts you back. You ask her out by text, but she’s the type of woman who wants to be asked out over the phone so she doesn’t respond to you.

How the hell are you supposed to know whether she wants to be asked out by text or phone nowadays anyway?

Women always complain men don’t call them anymore, but when they do, a lot of women don’t pick up the phone because they’ve been told to “be busy and unavailable. It attracts men!” 

What a load of BS that is!

It’s all so ridiculous, it really is. The games we play when we exchange numbers. I have a solution I think you should all start using. I say we should go back to the good old days. You remember the days when we used to go to the Highschool Dance.

You were in seventh grade, and she was in eighth. You’d finally decide to get some balls and ask out an older woman. So you went to her locker one day, tapped her on the shoulder and stood there. Your jeans a little short on you because you were having one of those growth spurts. Your shirt a little big because your Mother didn’t want to buy any shirts that year and brought a size too big. And your big man feet, even though you were still a kid!

She turned around, and with a crackly, pre-pubescent voice you’d say, “Will you go to the Highschool Dance with me?”

She looks at you and gives you a shy smile, braces showing of course. She says, “Yes,” and before she’s had time to breathe, you’ve run away. You tell everybody you’re going steady with her, and the next thing you know you’re boyfriend and girlfriend, even though you haven’t even had a conversation longer than 5 minutes.

Those were the good old days, and things were so much fun!

 You didn’t torture each other with endless text messages. You didn’t have to leave a voicemail and spend the next few days wondering why she didn’t return your call. You didn’t have any of those awkward moments. You just decided you were going to the dance with her and that was it.

I say we bring back the good old days. The next time you meet a woman, look at her and say, “You know what? You and me are going to go to the Highschool Dance. We’re going to go steady.”

No more of this tortuous texting we do over the first couple of weeks after we meet someone. None of this, “I leave you a message, you wait 3.7 days to call me back, and I wait 13.1 minutes to call you back so I don’t seem to eager.”

We’re finally going to become a culture that goes back to making things simple. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, they go steady, and break up three weeks later. Bring it back. Let’s have some fun again!