shy-womanI get this type of e-mail all the time. And today, I really want to go deep into this. It’s from a girl who is at a university. But you can easily substitute a college girl for a 50-year-old woman throughout this e-mail.

Hi David,

I found you on searching online.

I have a situation that I don’t know what to do about anymore. Can you please help me? I met this guy at University, and he was popular and had girls around him, and I never thought he’d like me, so I never thought about it him until, one day, I found him staring at me.

I thought he was looking somewhere else or at anyone else, but he was really looking at me.

Then I began to like him and think of him, and I thought, next week, he will tell me what he likes and get my number, but he didn’t.

This was two or three years ago. And in this period, we just looked at each other.

He used to park his car near my parking spot just after finding out where I park my car.

He came up to my class door and stared at me while his friend was talking to him. He was not paying attention to him.

But someday, I saw him outside of university, and he was having dinner with his friend and two girls. It was a year ago, and I thought he was on a date, but I’m not sure.

So we started ignoring each other, and then I found out he’s graduated.

So I really want to know if he’s really interested in me or not.

We follow each other on Instagram, and I want to like his photos, but I think he may not like me anymore, and if I like his photos, I’ll be a photo stalker.

I want to know if he likes me and if it’s okay to show my interest because he’s popular and gets lots of attention from girls, so I ignore him.

Please help me.

Wow. Women, men, wake up people!

Stop being so in your heads with so much speculation.

This was two or three years ago, but yet, this girl, woman, young woman, is still thinking about some guy that she barely really talks to.

Should I be coy and follow him on Instagram and like his photos, but that will make me look like a stalker…

It’s really becoming insane out there, how we just don’t become authentic. If you like somebody, you flirt with them. You show them you’re interested. You drop a hint that you would like to get together, and if he doesn’t pick up on it, you move forward. You don’t waste two or three years of your life doing this.

You don’t waste it at all.

A good friend of mine called me the other day, and he had two heart surgery procedures.

He’s an athlete. He’s in great shape, but he could have had a heart attack and died.

We waste so much time thinking that we’re going to live forever and ever, that we think we have eternity. But who promised you eternity?

Who promised any of you eternity?

I know I’ve not been promised eternity because, if I was promised eternity, I’d be damn happy with eternity. I would be able to take my time. I’d be able to stay in my head like this. I would be able to waste two to three years just having a crush on somebody because, who cares, I’m going to live forever.

Most of you waste so much time and caution on people you’re afraid to talk to and say something to, so here’s a challenge that I have for all of you.

Pick out the crushes you have.

Pick out the guys you’re interested in.

And reach out and tell them you want to take them out. Or, reach out and ask them how they are.

And tell them you’d be interested in getting together.

Take control of your life instead of being in your head 24/7 and speculating nonstop.

Nothing is uglier and more ridiculous than the speculation game.

Stop speculating and start living.