men make excusesMen say exactly what they want. Women need to listen a lot deeper. You can’t change a man’s mind about something. No matter what happens a man will state what he wants. A woman will listen half-way. Then the man will think that through his passiveness he’s winning the battle.  Let’s go deeper into this. A woman recently e-mailed me and said that she’s in a relationship now and they’re talking about the next phase. They were even talking about children and for some reason now things have taken a back seat.

Then like many women, she made an excuse. Her excuse says that he got busy and stressed out at work, things have cooled a bit between them.  It’s not the work for why things cool. That’s just the excuse he fed you because the real conversation is too painful.  They talked about moving in. She really wants to. But her biggest fear, and this is really interesting, is that he’ll become too comfortable and not want to take things to the next level.

See this woman wants to have a child and he says he does too. But he doesn’t really want a kid. His need for a child is not as great. Think about it. Your need for a child is great.  Do you really want to bring a child into the world with a man who’s lukewarm about having a child and hope he’ll turn into the amazing father?

Don’t Fall For A Man’s Excuses

Your desire for a child is so strong, and I totally respect that, but if a man is on the fence, really on the other side of the fence, that’s where he is. He is going to hope you’ll change your mind and you won’t really want the kid.  Things are cooling off because of work? It’s because he realizes that it’s time to really get honest and he doesn’t want to.  Men will use excuses like work and other things that are easy for them.

You know, work…

I’ve got an issue with my ex…

We use those excuses non-stop. The reason why is because it’s easier than confronting the real reason why men pull back. He pulls back because he doesn’t really want what you want, and yet he does love you. I’m sure of that. But he doesn’t know how to say that he doesn’t want what you want.  Not only that, you’re really not hearing him. You know the answer. Your instincts are true, but you fail to listen to them.

As I read a little bit more, there’s some a self-discovery in the bedroom. You state you’re trying to get him to understand that it takes a lot for you to get going. You’ve never been one for a quickie.  He tells you that’s it feels one-sided. It doesn’t seem like you’re into it. There are many issues here. He’s a different type of lover than you, taking it as offensive. Maybe you’re not explaining to him the right way. But here’s the biggest kicker…

I want him to say I love you but he never does and I never pressure him to say anything. He knows that I love him and want to make love to him.

He won’t tell you he loves you. Can’t you see what’s going on here? He’s saying that things are one-sided. You want a child, he’s not really sure. Or to put it in his words, his need is not as great as it is for you. One-sided. With sex, he’s more into quickie’s. He feels like it’s too hard to get you to cum.  You’re telling him you love him. He doesn’t say it back. Deep down he’s feeling guilty. He’s feeling guilty that he can’t tell you that he loves you.

It’s amazing when you read what you wrote. This is something I strongly suggest to all women. Write down where you’re at in your relationship right now. Write down where you’re at in your single life right now. Write it as if you were writing a letter to me, like a ‘Dear David’.

When you write this Dear David to me, or yourself, re-read it. Your answers are always right there. It’s the best way to coach yourself through tough situations.  I feel for her. I really do. And when I read it realized that she’s in a relationship where the communication is not there.  Communication is the key to everything and having these tough talks, as painful as they might be, will save you a lot of heartache.

I’d rather see you with a man that wants to have a child and wants to be with you. He’s never going to be fully in and having a child is the hardest thing to do when two people are not fully committed. It brings the most stress to a relationship and if both people are not fully committed then it ruins any potential for the happy family you want.

I want you to really look deep today and I want you all to think. Having a having a child (or another child) is not going to solve anything. Two people need to be fully invested. Read what you write and find your solution for what you’re going through right now.