Hey, I was just out for lunch yesterday with Obi, who works with me, and Aaron, my publicist, who’s doing all the publicity for my new book Naked.

We went to this really cool place in downtown LA. It was this hip, trendy little restaurant. I don’t remember the name of it but I really enjoyed it. Great food, small plates.

The waiter was gay, and he really could care less about us because we were three dudes sitting there, all good-looking guys, and we gave him no vibes whatsoever. And he started acting like a typical guy would act if he’s not get any feedback from a woman.

When the meal was over, instead of being friendly and coming over to chat with us, he dropped the check, turned around and quickly ran away from us. And then when he brought the check back for us to sign he quickly dropped it and ran away from us again.

He’s no different than a dude that goes up to a group of women that are not attracted to him. When he gets no love whatsoever, he immediately becomes snooty and snotty instead of just being friendly.

Let me tell you something: if you’re not getting the reaction you want from somebody—take control. You’re the one that needs to be the leader. You’re the one that needs to decide what dynamic you want in your life, not the other people sitting there. You don’t want to give your power away.

The waiter basically gave his power away to us the second we were not chatty with him, when he could’ve been chatty with us. He could’ve been more fun. He could’ve really enjoyed himself a little bit more.

And it’s funny, our waiter also reminds me of a woman who’s not getting enough attention. It’s like when guys hit on a group of women at a bar and one of the women is not getting enough attention and she just wants to ruin the night for everybody.

She doesn’t want to to deal with any of the people there whatsoever because she’s not getting enough attention. She doesn’t care if her friend hasn’t had sex in six months. She doesn’t care if her friend is having a great, engaging conversation with an attractive dude.

She could care less because she’s not getting enough attention and her energy changes right away. Her energy totally becomes this heavy, frustrating energy and what happens? She becomes the energy ruiner.

Here’s the deal: you’re the leader. You decide how your night’s going to be. Either you’re going to be somebody who’s friendly, engaging and true to yourself, or you’re going to be like our little gay waiter and that woman being ignored. It’s funny how life is sometimes. Your choice.