It’s Wednesday again, and this week’s “Dear David” comes from Patrick in the UK.

Patrick wants to know how to approach women without fear, after a big knock to his confidence. Here’s the email he sent me.

“Dear David

I’m having a rough time at the moment. About a year ago I broke up with a woman I’d been with for 3 years. As you can imagine after that long with her, I was heartbroken to say the least.

Anyway, after a few months I decided it was time to get back out there and start meeting women. The trouble is I’ve lost all my confidence. I don’t think it’s a fear of being hurt again, I just don’t know what to say to women anymore.

I feel like I’m so worried women won’t be interested in me I freeze up and end up looking like a fool. The more I try and talk to women the more nervous I get, so not I don’t even try. It’s crazy. I’m a grown man so I know I shouldn’t be like this.

I’ve practiced being in the moment and not worrying whether women like me or not, but I still feel awful. Any advice?”

David Says…

Hey Patrick,

You were with your girlfriend for a long time, so when you broke up it will have hit you hard. Two things happen when you’ve been with someone a long time. First, you get comfortable with them. They see you at your best and worst.

You stop worrying about what they think of you, and just BE. You’re happy being yourself because you’re comfortable with each other. When you lose that, you’re bound to feel open and exposed for a while.

The second thing that happens when you’ve been in a relationship with a woman that long, is you get out of practice. If you were with her for three years, I’m going to assume you were always faithful and didn’t try to meet other women.

If that’s the case, you went three years without approaching women. You’re out of practice. You say you’re not worried about being hurt, but there will be a touch of that going on inside you, and that’s perfectly normal.

Here’s what I’d do…

Keep going out there and meeting women, no matter how nervous you are.

But most importantly, stop worrying about the result of the interaction.

Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like you, and it doesn’t matter if you get a number.  You just have to start enjoying people again. You have to start enjoying communicating with women without having an agenda.

Don’t go out with the mindset, “Tonight I must meet a woman.”

You put too much pressure on yourself. You’re a single guy. Live it up. When I go out every day, I’m so excited. Think about it. You never know who you’ll meet. You could run into a celebrity, you could run into your new best friend, or you could meet your next long term girlfriend.

Go out with that enthusiasm and take the pressure of yourself. It’s time to stop worrying and start living my man. Forget what people think of you, and start having fun again. Believe me, when you start enjoying yourself, people will enjoy your company, and women will start approaching YOU!

In the meantime, check out my program “The Fearless Code.”

I show you step-by-step how I became fearless with women, and I think that will help you a lot right now.

Hope that helps!

And guys, if you also have problems with approach anxiety and break out in a sweat at the thought of talking to women, I want you to check out  “The Fearless Code” too!