Are you dating a transformer?  No, I am not talking about one of those robots which changes shape.

I am talking about one of those people whose personalities transform whenever they have a couple of glasses of wine or other type of alcoholic beverage. They talk differently. They act differently. They may start talking in gibberish. You almost wonder if you’re hanging out with some kind of alien or something.

Then you think that perhaps they were just in the mood to “cut loose and go with the flow,” since they seem to turn into an entirely different person than the one you know. Each day you wonder which personality will show up to greet you.

Each day you may have a totally different person next to you than you did on the day before that. You’re afraid to take them to a cocktail party because you’re not quite sure who the hell is going to show up.

They could have one alcoholic beverage, and all of a sudden you’ll say that certain twinkle in their eyes and know that the psycho personality is about to show itself. They have their second alcoholic beverage, and the next thing you know you see your boss standing next them. You start thinking “Oh God, no!”

Then, to your surprise, your boss looks at you and says “Your girlfriend is really great. You never told me you like to be spanked in the bedroom.” From then on you are known in the office as “spank boy” all because she decided to blurt out some of your private business that was meant to be kept just between you and her.

Then when you go to have a conversation with her about that the next day, she says she doesn’t remember what she said or why she said it because she was too much under the influence of what she was drinking. The conversation is all but impossible because she has transformed back to her “regular self.”

You could also bring them with you to a function with your family. You see them have a few drinks, and the next thing you know they turn into another psychotic transformer. If you thought what happened with your boss was a nightmare, just imagine what they are saying to your mother.

I actually once dated a transformer. Whenever she was under the influence of anything, she would start speaking in some kind of mumbo jumbo gibberish language I couldn’t understand. Then one day she started saying things that scared the living hell out of me. It was at that moment I realized I was dating a transformer. We broke up shortly after that.

Have you ever dated a transformer?