A “Physical” Experience
By David Wygant

So today I went for my yearly physical. Now I’m a pretty healthy guy. Ok, I’m actually a health freak. I do yoga, I eat well, I stay out of the sun, I exercise every day. But it seems like every year right before I have my physical, I freak out. I always think “What if they find something?” It’s amazing, though, what ELSE you start to think about once the physical is under way . . .

It is as I’m in the doctor’s office today that I realize that there is only one time in my life when I don’t like my balls touched – and it’s when I’m in the doctor’s office! There’s just something about the way he says “Drop your pants to your knees” in that manly voice. It could also be that paper robe you are forced to wear that makes you feel oh so sexy. Either way, I do not enjoy the ball-touching that takes place in the doctor’s office.

As the doctor is touching each testicle, he even tells you “The left testicle looks good, feels good.” Hearing this I’m thinking “It does NOT feel good! Where are the long female fingernails lightly touching each testicle and giving me erotic pleasure?” When I look up now, all I see is Dr. Ron telling me each ball is okay.

Then comes the dreaded words “Roll to your left and get in the fetal position,” ’cause you know what’s coming next. Then in a gentle voice you hear “We’re going to check for blood in your stool and see how the prostate looks . . . but first we have to lube it up a little bit.”

As a finger slides up my ass, I realize that the only things I like are things that come OUT of my ass. The play-by-play is also a trip. “Prostate nice and smooth . . .no swelling in there . . .” Well, ok then, take your finger out of my ass! “One more circle to make sure everything is ok . . .” Great! Then when he removes his finger and I think, I am SO glad I’m a dating doctor and not a real doctor.

Then while I’m still in shock, he hands me a box of tissues and says “Clean yourself up. The nurse will be back in a few minutes.” So I’m thinking “Wow, you mean I don’t get to stay here all day long and engage in another round of pleasure?!”

Now you are all probably wondering how all this pertains to dating. The truth is that I have no idea and it really doesn’t matter, because what I really want is to have you all share your doctor stories.

Weigh in on this question: Who suffers more – men with a finger in their ass or women in the stirrups being opened with a spatula like an omelet. Let the debate begin . . .

Todays podcast is all about men and there number system. Are you a man who rates women on a scale from 1 to 10?

Its time to end the number system once and for all.

All the women will enjoy this podcast more than any other one.