A Little Perspective On Online Dating
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
How many of you have gone out there and really tried online dating? I’m talking about going on a site and really hitting it hard.
Do you know about the 80/20 rule in life? In life, 80% of the people fail and 20% of the people succeed.
These success percentages carry over into online dating as well. Do you know why? It is because most people don’t understand exactly what is needed to succeed in online dating. In particular, most guys don’t understand what is needed to succeed in online dating.
First, men who are successful online daters connect with women emotionally. Most guys don’t understand why that is important, and don’t know how to do it if they do.
What most men do is put some pictures up of themselves and then list things in their profile. They don’t create a story in their profile. You need to create some type of store to engender an emotional response in a woman.
For example, let’s say you are someone who has been on vacation in Italy. You could write in your profile, “I love Italy,” but so what? Who cares?
A lot of people would care if you wrote about it in the right way. They would care if you instead wrote this: “On my trip to Italy, I cruised up and down the Positano Coast. Let me tell you something. If you’ve never experienced a sunset in Positano, then you’ve never really experienced a sunset in your life.”
Do you see the difference? The difference is that you’re creating an emotion. You’re creating a feeling. You are creating something inside people that is going to get them really excited.
Another thing you need to realize about online dating is that is it really like a giant bar in the sky. Just because someone didn’t respond to you on Tuesday, September 22nd, doesn’t mean they’re not going to respond to you three weeks later.
They could be dating somebody else, flirting with somebody else, or whatever it might be. So I always tell people to email someone again. The key with this, though, is what you write when you do it.
Don’t cut and paste your first email (or any other email message). Go into their profile. Walk into their life a little bit. Read through it — even read it out loud — until you have an “Aha!” moment and see something that really resonates with you.
Say their profile says, “I love running on the beach with my dog. The funny thing about it is that my dog runs around in circles, and sometimes I think he’s going to get dizzy and pass out.” You have that “aha!” moment because your dog does the same thing.
So you could write an email that has has the subject line, “Wondering what would happen if we ran around…” Then in the body of the email you would write, “…in circles like our dogs. It’s funny, but my dog does the same exact thing and sometimes I wonder how she doesn’t get dizzy. Remember when you were a kid and used to spin in circles until you got dizzy? Maybe we should try that with our dogs one time :)”
What happened what that you related to her by sharing a story about your life that pertained to something in hers. That’s how you get better at online dating. You need to look at it as a conversation.
There’s so many women out there. Take advantage of that and find women with whom you can connect. It’s really important, though, to connect by relating in a a conversation.
Read every email response you get from a woman out loud so you can relate to it like you’re in a conversation with her. Form your responses by thinking how you would respond if she said it to you in a live conversation.
Online dating is really all about a conversation from the beginning. It’s no different than flirting in a bar, at a supermarket or anywhere else.
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Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
10 Comments | Join the Discussion!
Lydia
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Barb
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
Sean
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
Fidel
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
Amy
Saturday, October 24th, 2009
Brad
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
Khiem/Ken (DW Coach)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
Top Online Dating
Monday, July 12th, 2010
Love Online Dating
Monday, July 12th, 2010
Jump
Saturday, February 19th, 2011