ditch your dildoToday I want to talk to you about a subject I get a lot of emails on, but none of you seems to want to talk about it openly. It’s a subject affecting so many of my divorced clients I’m amazed it hasn’t made national headlines. Thousands, maybe millions of you are having bad sex on a regular basis.

It’s happening because you’re married and you feel stuck. Bad sex is happening because you’ve never had an orgasm that you didn’t give yourself and you think it’s impossible to get off any other way.  It’s happening because you’ve got a vibrator and you’ve convinced yourself no man can replace your battery-operated boyfriend.

Well I’m here to tell you bad sex is a choice.

 1. Sex Just Needs To Fit

Two bodies fit together. It’s energy. You need to feel comfortable.  If you’re comfortable the first time, (Sex – The Perfect Jigsaw) which is rare,  then you’ll be more and more comfortable with each other, and it means the communication is there.

It means that there’s a positive energy between the two of you.  It means that you’re comfortable. It feels good to be with that person. It’s a natural thing. Certain bodies fit together, and other bodies don’t. I want you to think back now of all your relationships. You know, the ones that went on way too long, 7, 14 years. How long did you stay with the guy who was bad at sex? Did you marry him?

I want you to think of your sexual partners.  I want you to think of the ones you didn’t fit with and how many years you spent with them.  And you thought to yourself, it will work, it will get better… My question is, Why? Why would you relegate yourself to years of bad sex?

As a woman you should never worry about sex. Men everywhere want to have sex. You can get laid if you want. Don’t ever settle for a guy that isn’t pleasing you. If you’ve tried talking to him, if you’ve tried different ways to make the sex better, but it stayed the same then it’s not going to get better.

2. Move On

Energy cannot be changed. It either fits or it doesn’t.  But I want you to think about that guy.  That man. The one you thought, “We’re just a little awkward right now.”

No, you were always awkward.  Think about the first time you were with them and think about the last time you were with them. It sucked from day one. It never got any better. He never satisfied you. This advice you can take outside of the bedroom. Trying to make things better is a noble goal, but if you try forever you’re not making things better you’re making yourself miserable.

If nothing changes in three months it’s time to let go. Here’s the logic behind that, it takes 30 days to develop a habit. But, there are two people involved so it takes more time now we’re at 60 days. The extra 30 days are for your peace of mind.

You’ve given him 30 days to adjust. You’ve given yourself 30 days. You gave the relationship 30 days. If it’s not working by day 90 make a commitment to you and get out.

3. Great Orgasms Are Out There

How many of you have been through relationships where you have not had orgasms.

Hello!

That beautiful body of yours is not meant to just be used and abused by an Atachi magic wand. There’s many things a man can do to you if he’s the right lover. You should not have to be plugging in and bucking like a cowgirl to get off. I look at those Atachi magic Wands and I think to myself, “Who couldn’t get off from that thing.”

That thing gives back massages for people with knots in their back the size of a boulder. So, of course it’s going to do amazing things to your tiny clit.  So seriously, how many years have you spent with men that sucked in bed?

Terrible relationships that you stayed with because you felt like you didn’t deserve a sexual partner with the ability to please you sexually.

 4. Sex Should be Physical

No human being should have to rely on the magic wand to bring you the ultimate pleasure.  There are men out there interested in pleasing you. If you haven’t had great sex with a partner, you need to look for other partners because you’re missing out.

The magic wand can’t surprise you the way a lover can. One of the best parts about sex is the newness the giving yourself over to someone else. A wand can not fill in for a man. No human being should be forced to sleep with somebody for 14 years and never have an orgasm. It’s damn near criminal.

Don’t worry about being a slut. I know many of you grew up in a different world then the one we’re living in now. A world where the number of sexual partners you’ve had is the most important thing. This isn’t the case anymore. The pope isn’t coming down to condemn you and you’re the only person with the number. If you want to sleep with someone do it. You’re not a slut. You’re not a whore. You’re a woman with sexual desires.

You deserve a connection with more then a robot. Throw out your vibrator.