Fun DateI got an e-mail from somebody the other day and I’m about to share with you how to make dating click? I’m going to teach you how to have fun with dating. She wrote to me and she says…

“David,

This year I’ve been dating guys who were a lot of fun but after a couple of dates they just stopped responding to my text.

They never reply when I reach out either. In past relationships boyfriends were committed and always seemed ready to take it to the next level. I don’t want to be known as a good-time girl. I want the guy to just be interested in me.

What can I do to get guys to commit to me?”

Well..

How do you see yourself as the good-time girl?

Is that you or your friends deciding you’re the good-time girl?

Do you over-analyze these past relationships?

Is that how you make yourself feel better, because these guys lose interest in you?

Either way you’ve completely mislabeled yourself.

1. Understand Sometimes There’s No Follow Up Date

Nothing kills the joy of dating faster then being rejected. You feel small and like you’re in high school again. In some ways it feels like you’ve failed. The best advice I can give you is don’t worry about these guys. I can tell you from years of experience, they’re not interested anymore and it’s not because you’re a “good-time girl” or because you’re not relationship material.

Here’s the deal:

Dating is a series of experiments to find out whether or not you’re ready to move into a more stable, full time relationship with the person sitting next to you. The majority of dates are ended and blown off before they even start. In all my years of dating, I can’t even count all the three-and-done, one-and-done and two-and-dones…

I don’t take any of it personally and neither should you. If a guy isn’t calling you back don’t let your head run away with stories. Women are always reliving every little detail.

Did he think I was pretty enough?

Maybe the dress did make me look fat…

He could tell I wasn’t as smart as he was.

There’s probably not some crazy thing you did. For whatever reason, and it could be anything at all, he wasn’t feeling the connection.  You should be grateful. It seems like you’re pulling from the right pool. No guy is leaving you hanging on. If they’re not feeling it they leave. Trust me, the other way is much more painful.

2. Every ‘Wrong’ Guy Brings You One Step Closer to The Right One

Do you know what? The spark that begins a serious relationship cannot happen with every guy you go on a date with. You cannot expect every guy you meet to fall magically in love with you. Hollywood has conditioned you to believe love is always right around the corner, but just like everything else in life finding and maintaining love is hard work.

Keep going out on date. Eventually, the right guy’s going to stay interested. The guy you have chemistry with, the guy who thinks you are absolutely amazing the way you are.

Bonus: This is the guy you’ll be excited to tell your friends about. This is the guy you won’t want to fix because he came put together to fit you. He’s worth waiting for and there is no short cut to find him except this…

 3. Be More Interesting

This is the secret. This is how you have fun dating again….

People will stay interested when they feel you’re interesting. Don’t try to be someone else’s version of interesting. Work to become the person you wish you could talk to. If you find books interesting read more, if you love Nascar go to more races.

Get involved with things you only dreamed about doing before. The more confident you are the brighter you shine the more likely you are to find your soul mate. When you shine you’re easier to find. When you’re having fun with your life it’ll no longer feel like work. You want to understand men better?

When a man doesn’t pursue you, he doesn’t want to be with you. When a man doesn’t chase you, he’s not ever likely to change his mind. You can’t manipulate him into liking the person you are. You can only get your own shit together and be on the lookout for someone who fits your new better.